Crying Co-Worker

Question

I sit next to a co-worker who consistently has issues. As a human being I feel bad for her, but at the same time I do not appreciate the constant (once a week) loud personal conversations that she has in the office, often times with her ending up with her crying. This have been going on for close to 2 years now.

These instances usually are not less than 30 minutes, and frequently last over an hour.

Should I suggest she go out of the office for these conversations? At the moment I am left with putting on headphones and waiting for it to go away.

As I am a co-worker, not this person's manager, I do not know the best way to proceed without putting myself at risk of being "that guy".

If there is a way to help them, I would like to do that. In the end the distraction she creates needs to go away, and I am not going to risk my standing in the company.

UPDATE: This is also sensitive due to the fact that I am male and she is a female. I don't want to be seen as an insensitive jerk. This is not the same scenario as folks are trying to link to (as a duplicate).

UPDATE II: She was given a very nice severance package, so she could figure out her personal issues without worrying about income for a few months. Very nice of the company to do so, and her boss FINALLY observed an incident.

I think the likely answer is to try and have a conversation and if that fails go to HR. That being said, I don't think there's much we can due to add value to this question and it seems like a pretty common problem. Do let us know if there are specifics which make this problem more difficult to deal with. — , Dec 12 '16 at 17:26
From that question... "He is loud speaker, sometimes starts singing and whistling in the office, he talks loudly on the phone. Every small argument with another employee sounds like a fight." — , Dec 12 '16 at 17:28
Is your goal to help your coworker or is it to deal with her crying and not be distracted by it? — enderland, Dec 12 '16 at 17:31
If there is a way to help them, I would like to do that. In the end the distraction needs to go and I am not going to risk my standing in the company to help her. ( it sucks honestly ) — Neo, Dec 12 '16 at 17:32
If you have the same boss I would go the them. If you approach this person about loud conversations and tears that is would you are likely to get. — paparazzo, Dec 12 '16 at 17:50
@Paparazzi Sadly we do not, and the MGR in question is, well, terrible. — Neo, Dec 12 '16 at 18:35
If it always happened at lunch time that would be the answer! — Neo, Dec 12 '16 at 22:10
Well, ask her to have her conversations during your lunch time and you're all set. — Vietnhi Phuvan, Dec 12 '16 at 22:22
Why are people so afraid of just being honest with someone and making themselves 'look bad'? — Armada, Dec 14 '16 at 15:28
I am concerned about my reputation with my colleagues for obvious reasons. @Frammo — Neo, Dec 14 '16 at 15:38

score 20 · Accepted Answer · answered Dec 13 '16 at 21:10

20

This seems appropriate to bring up to this person's supervisor, for the reason of being a significant distraction and affecting your job performance on regular basis. The solution for the individual would be to take their conversation outside the work area, or do after work hours.

However, play by ear: take your best guess at how the supervisor is likely to react. (e.g. is this employee the supervisor's best/favorite subordinate?) So consider the circumstances.

You might also consult with your HR dept to see if there is a policy in place to handle distractions or unprofessional behavior (which this qualifies under) in the workplace.

answered Dec 13 '16 at 21:10

A.S

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A better solution for this individual might be to seek professional help. If she is audibly crying in the workplace on a regular basis, she clearly has some serious issues to work through. – AffableAmbler Dec 27 '17 at 00:31
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@AffableAmbler I agree, for the person crying your advice might make sense. However the person asking the question is not the person crying, but a coworker trying to figure out what HE should do in this situation. – A.S Dec 27 '17 at 01:33

score 13 · Answer 2 · answered Dec 12 '16 at 17:50

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I do not appreciate the constant ( once a week ) loud personal conversations that she has in the office, often times crying.

A loud conversation (say, 10mins on average) once a week doesn't sound at all like something you should be taking action about. When this happens, go have a coffee break. Problem solved. If the frequency were 3 times a day, I could start to see your dilemma.

answered Dec 12 '16 at 17:50

DepressedDaniel

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This isn't a frequency thing as much as it is a duration thing. – Neo Dec 12 '16 at 17:52
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Surely someone else would notice them, no? – Andrew Berry Dec 13 '16 at 14:42
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@AndrewBerry you would think so, but this employee has not had an on-site supervisor for the last year so this does not help. – Neo Dec 14 '16 at 13:46

Crying Co-Worker

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