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I was at the gym (non work affiliated if it makes a difference) last week and ran into a co worker in the changing rooms. This would have been fine except she had just walked out of the shower completely starkers and tried to have a conversation with me, first normal chatting like "here for a run?" but then work related stuff. I tried to be polite but honestly wanted to keep chatter to a minimum in the hope that she would stop getting distracted and put some clothes on. I changed quickly for my activity, and then left.

But now I'm wondering was I rude for not wanting to engage in conversation with a naked co worker. She is generally lovely by the way so no issues there. How would other people handle this?

enderland
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Rogue'n'Roll
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    "Let's continue this conversation after we're dressed". – Dan Pichelman May 13 '16 at 13:33
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    http://workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/22802/how-do-you-handle-co-workers-that-want-to-converse-with-you-in-the-bathroom/22804#22804 has answers you may find useful (ignore the "something important in my hand har har" stuff – Kate Gregory May 13 '16 at 13:39
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    Well, one of two people thought the situation was absolutely normal, and one thought it wasn't. In many places / cultures it is absolutely normal. The thing to remember: In some situations "no clothes" = appropriately dressed, and there is nothing sexual about it. – gnasher729 May 13 '16 at 14:02
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    Hmm, yeah; this. –  May 13 '16 at 15:45
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    @Kilisi this is very much a cultural issue. Obviously, you or your culture consider nakedness a greater taboo than others. That doesn't make you right and them wrong any more than it makes you wrong and them right. It would never occur to me that someone would consider the sight of a naked body offensive to children. Apparently, it would never have occurred to you that someone might not consider it offensive. There's no call for referring to other people's take on the matter as "rubbish". – terdon May 13 '16 at 16:49
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    Your local culture and your gender make a difference to this. In my experience, in the UK, changing rooms are single-sex and in a male one, (my experience is limited to that) no-one is concerned about nakedness, though no-one flashes themselves around ostentatiously either. Conversations continue while people undress, shower, and dress. YMMV – peterG May 13 '16 at 17:00
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    Just introduce a new topic of conversation. Say that you're seeking assistance with figuring out how to get the "selfie" function working on the camera phone that you pull out. Then you may find that the other person becomes the one interested in getting dressed before the conversation continues. – TOOGAM May 13 '16 at 18:55
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    There are good answers here already, but you need to keep in mind that the other person may have no problem being Naked. They may not feel uncomfortable and thus may not know it makes you uncomfortable. In the guys locker room the conversation doesn't stop because of changing cloths. That said we don't stand around naked for half any hour discussing last weeks TPS reports. If your uncomfortable, mention it, I bet they will get dressed, unless they are trying to make you feel uncomfortable, and that a whole-nother question. – coteyr May 13 '16 at 20:38
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    @TOOGAM Nice try, but lots of gyms ban phone use in changing rooms (for pretty good reasons) – DJClayworth May 13 '16 at 20:56
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    @TOOGAM - that's a really good approach - if you want to be banned from the guy and optionally get your ass kicked. And OP, the conversation seems to be awkward only from your side. The correct thing to do here is to understand that there is nothing to be awkward about and move along. – Davor May 13 '16 at 22:49
  • @Davor : I thought the OP was in a ladies' changing room. How did a guy enter the conversation, and why would there be banishment from a guy, and why are you ruining humor by making the conversation unpleasant? Furthermore, on what grounds do you make the assertion that enderland's choice of word, "awkward", isn't a right way to describe OP's feeling in this type of situation, which is clearly against the norms of some of society? – TOOGAM May 14 '16 at 02:58
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    She's pretty and you're a guy right? – user4951 May 14 '16 at 07:56
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    @terdon you would walk around naked in front of your children? I know plenty of Europeans, none of whom would think that is OK..... if that was true there would be no need for 'nude' beaches, and you wouldn't get arrested if you walked down the road naked.... so.... yep.... rubbish... try walking into your local school naked and see what happens... – Kilisi May 15 '16 at 20:19
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    @Kilisi I have no problem if my children see me naked. In the swimming pool male changing room, there is a communal shower and often there are naked grown men, boys, and girls under 7. That doesn't mean I'd walk down the street naked, so don't be silly. – xorsyst May 17 '16 at 09:32

3 Answers3

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Just tell her to put some clothes on, I'm assuming you're both female. Or turn your back and talk. There's nothing wrong with not looking.

I've never had exactly the same situation, and I'm male anyway, but in a similar situation I just told the guy in a joking manner. "You going to put some pants on mate? Or are we going to have a sword fight?"

It's similar to those people who think it's fine to chat while you're on the toilet, it's best to just let them know you're not comfortable about it but trying not to be embarrassed. "Sorry dude, give me a bit of privacy for a minute, really pushing on this one, need to concentrate or I might injure myself."

Kilisi
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    d'at banter.... –  May 13 '16 at 14:37
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    Laughing far more than is appropriate for a Workplace:SE answer. Thank you :) – Marv Mills May 13 '16 at 14:45
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    @MarvMills humour serves the purpose of covering up the awkwardness while drawing attention to the fact that you don't want to get involved in their floorshow. – Kilisi May 13 '16 at 14:52
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    What if he does want a sword fight? – Agent_L May 13 '16 at 16:58
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    @Agent_L then you have sword fight, simple. – User1000547 May 13 '16 at 18:51
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    @Agent_L : Then I fetch an actual sword (since most locker rooms have them readily handy). The metallic weapon, which I choose to actively use, has notable advantages in sharpness, strength, length, and pointy-ness. If he chooses to proceed even though I may believe that his selection is inferior, then who am I to criticize his choice? That's really not polite sportsmanship. – TOOGAM May 13 '16 at 18:52
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    @TOOGAM but if you choose the weapon, shouldn't HE choose the location? Not really a lot of sportsmanship if you don't follow the full rules of a duel. COME ON – Patrice May 13 '16 at 19:41
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    If one of my co-workers is taking care of business, I like to make use of the urinal next to him, wait in awkward silence for a couple seconds, and then say "don't worry, I'm not one of those guys who talks in the bathroom?". – Ian May 13 '16 at 20:08
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    I think it's time to drop the whode sworded (sic) topic. – keshlam May 13 '16 at 20:17
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    @keshlam that's the naked truth – Kilisi May 13 '16 at 21:50
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Just tell her you are on a schedule and need to get going.

If naked makes you uncomfortable then fine.

For many people showers or changing room is not a big deal. If you play sports a lot of banter takes place in the showers and changing (locker) room.

paparazzo
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0

you could just say

i generally don't talk to people while they are naked.

it is polite, simple, direct, and non-confrontational.

side note: i have a similar policy about bathroom chat. if someone is getting too chatty, i just say

i don't chat in the bathroom.

teldon james turner
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