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I have a member on my team who acts like a boorish pig. He "borrows" my belongings without asking, almost as if he's entitled to it. Last time, I had some snack on my desk and he just took it to his desk and started eating it. People around me were in such a shock and I didn't want to start an argument so I jokingly said, "Oh yes, I saved it just for you. Please enjoy it and you are welcome." He simply says "Thanks" and finished eating it and left the garbage on my desk.

This guy is our office's "all star", very popular, loves attention, and frequently likes to boss people around even when he's only a developer. Today, a project manager got very angry with him for shifting his resources around without asking.

What can I do? It's hard to deal with him since he's so friendly and likes to laugh things off.

yoozer8
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joepa
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    "Hey guys, who wants a pizza? [Charlie] has took my snack recently and now he owes me one. I have already ordered it, but I guess I can't have a 28-inch monster alone." – Be Brave Be Like Ukraine Sep 19 '12 at 09:49
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    ask him not to eat your food, instead of just making a weird joke when you were in fact annoyed – NimChimpsky Sep 19 '12 at 16:15
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    Your problem is that you said "Oh yes, I saved it just for you. Please enjoy it and you are welcome." Instead of "You stole from me, go to the shop and buy me a new snack". – TROLLHUNTER Sep 19 '12 at 16:01
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    I like the title 'bout pig up artist :( – Lukasz Madon Sep 19 '12 at 19:29
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    @lukas - It was a broken window that set the wrong tone. The name calling is a bit immature. – IDrinkandIKnowThings Sep 19 '12 at 19:45
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    Wait, you work with Dr. Gregory House? – Mahn Sep 19 '12 at 20:02
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    @Jim I think you were right to edit the question title but it sounds a little too general. I don't think this question will produce a canonical answer for dealing with "difficult coworkers". – Nicole Sep 19 '12 at 20:18
  • @NickC The "difficult coworkers" wording wasn't mine (that was Chad). I agree that it's a bit general, but I do think it's an improvement on the former title. – yoozer8 Sep 19 '12 at 20:54
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    Report to management that you have this issue that your things are constantly been taken away without your permission. If someone takes your food, do not let it go. This is wrong by all means. We had an incidence like that once and they put a sign next to refrigerator that do not take someone else food. Honestly this can lead to termination or serious disciplinary action. – TheTechGuy Sep 19 '12 at 16:52
  • @Jim Doh -- Sorry! – Nicole Sep 19 '12 at 22:32
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    laxatives + coffee = win – Clustermagnet Sep 20 '12 at 02:03
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    I was going to post this as an answer, but apparently I don't have enough rep. Paraphrased from the Bible: If someone offends you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won a new friend. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that they can confirm what actually happens. If he refuses to listen to them, tell management; and if he refuses to listen even to managment, do your best to ignore him and exclude him from your daily routine. – TecBrat Sep 26 '12 at 13:13
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    What you describe is also known as a Bully. –  Oct 02 '12 at 11:05
  • Keep some stale stuff or when he eats it in front of everyone, say that its spoiled...wait...I get the feeling that you might be dealing with a sociopath and not just a regular jerk. – Erran Morad May 02 '14 at 17:38
  • Aside from all comments and answers: if all else fails, run. – Mast Mar 05 '15 at 10:08

10 Answers10

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I'm not convinced this is a bully, nor that it is someone with Asperger's.

But it's not OK. I'd probably do a couple things simultaneously:

  • Lock up personal stuff - It's better than feeling like work has degraded to kindergarten where you have to fight for your snack. Don't get psychotic. If you feel like you have to cower over your stuff just to keep it from getting stolen, it's time for a talk with management about office theft.

  • Don't let humor be a deflection - Clearly the guy has learned "be funny = get away with being a jerk" - so change the rules. Don't respond to his joking, but don't lose your cool. If you try to be the funny guy, you can risk the impression that the whole situation is OK with you. Unfortunately, you can end up feeling like an elementary school substitute teacher, but I think you're going to have to go the route of "why did you take my snack?", "didn't you learn in kindergarten not to touch people's stuff?", and "no seriously, you owe me $5 so I can go get something to eat" and literally stand there next to him (calmly!) until he caves. Someone in the office has to say "this class clown isn't funny anymore" - Side note: making it clear that this isn't funny also points out to the other folks at your office that this guy isn't a comedic master, he's a jerk. And it may help others stand up for themselves as well. I've seen several cases of herd mentality where people go with the loudest voice until they are forced to think about what's actually happening. Don't think of yourself as fighting the team, think of yourself as providing a needed clue.

  • 3 strikes you're out - Generally, in any system, you should be able to express your displeasure at someone's behavior, clearly and respectfully, and have a reasonable belief that they will either desist or work on finding a compromise with you. Really, one go-around is enough - if the person doesn't listen, it does qualify as harassment. However, I always feel better, myself, to give them two warnings, and on the third strike they are out - I don't bother with the warning at that point, just take it to management. It makes a very strong case if you can say "I said clearly and succintly not to touch my stuff, and he did it. I clarified and asked again, and he did it anyway. What is the next step?"

  • Management is confused too and it sounds like there are other disciplinary problems. Chances are good that management isn't doing any better than you are. In a perfect world, you pointing out that he's harassing other employees would be a good kick in the pants for a written warning and escalation of the termination process. There are plenty of cases where a top performer is fired because his behavior is so detrimental to the team that his good work input can't possibly mitigate the fact that 4-10 other people are non-productive when he's around. To say nothing of the cost of lawsuits. But sometimes management can see it as not a big deal - in which case, take it out of the chain - use your HR's hotline (some offices have lines for out of band issue remediation), or your groups HR representative.

animuson
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bethlakshmi
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    "you pointing out that he's harassing other employees would be a good kick in the pants for a written warning and escalation of the termination process" - Think so? Office all-star, very popular. If you're the only one complaining, it might be you out of the door. – pdr Sep 19 '12 at 15:22
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    @pdr - I honestly don't think so - not when "Today, a project manager got very angry with him for shifting his resources around without asking" - doesn't sound like he's everyone's favorite guy. And "People around me were in such a shock" - sounds like others notice, too. Yeah - if it was 1 on 1, I might agree, but with no talks with management, I don't think you can assert the outcome. – bethlakshmi Sep 19 '12 at 18:13
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    your answers offers no practical advice except for "lock up your stuff" – Alex Gordon Sep 19 '12 at 20:44
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    @АртёмЦарионов Yes it did? #2 Confront him and tell him that his behaviour is not acceptable. #3 Talk to the management. How is that not practical advice? – AndSoYouCode Sep 20 '12 at 06:06
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    +1 for taking him seriously. Best way to handle "jokers" is to make it clear that your relationship is not one where "banter" is appropriate. – deworde Sep 20 '12 at 08:04
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    Many people use the excuse of "humor" to camouflage acts of aggression and hostility. – Tangurena Sep 23 '12 at 02:17
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    @Tangurena - Makes sense. If you can make people laugh, you lower their defenses or their anger (justifiable or not) also. Works well with a lot of women. – Erran Morad May 02 '14 at 17:46
  • Popped in here from another question just to add that in some jurisdictions and with sufficient evidence this can be qualified as theft and incur in a for-cause termination. This is why advice #1 and #2 are really important - if stuff is still going missing after #1 there is deliberate intent, and if it's still happening after #2 there is more evidence of it being intentional – Juliana Karasawa Souza Sep 25 '19 at 09:54
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Stop being so "politically correct" and tell him to knock it off! Is this some office culture that I don't know about where you have to allow ANYONE to be a jerk? You and everyone else doing nothing about his behavior allow him to act like a jerk. You know it is not right, so do something about it immediately, the very first time.

Don't be nice to him when he does something like that...it just encourages him to continue. If you had a dog that nipped you, then you patted him nicely on the head and speak softly to the dog? Do you think the dog would stop nipping you? NO!

If this happens again with the snack, yell "HEY, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!" AND take it back.

knightscharge
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  • this is the best, most useful and practical answer. – Alex Gordon Sep 19 '12 at 17:04
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    This is just as likely to cause more problems than it is to solve them. Getting aggressive with a bully (especially the star player) ends up with you getting the short end of the stick one way or the other. – IDrinkandIKnowThings Sep 19 '12 at 19:20
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    Tell him that it's a $1.00 candy bar, but your distribution services are $4.00, making the total $5.00 Then every time you meet him, "Hey where's my five bucks?" At first it will start as a joke, but it's the kind of joke that gets old fast. Just never let him know that the joke is old for you too. He'll eventually avoid you thinking that you're lame, which is probably the best you can hope for if management has a love / hate relationship (and an opinion that they need to keep him). – Edwin Buck Sep 20 '12 at 14:11
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    I don't think political correctness is what is going on here (Sorry, I just think the term is overused.); this person is an ass that needs to be yelled at. +1 –  Sep 24 '12 at 02:13
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    The trouble with yelling is that to someone coming in later, (like management or HR) you look like you are just as much the problem as he is. It's much better to stay calm but keep insisting on your rights - then it's clear to everyone who is being rational and who is acting like a jerk. – DJClayworth Oct 23 '12 at 20:34
  • Yes, tell him that I'll take that back. Maybe all the other employees can gang up on him and all tell him its not right, give it back when he does it in everyone's presence. Crowd shaming should teach this fool a lesson. – Erran Morad May 02 '14 at 17:48
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    @Chad - Especially if such a guy is irreplaceable or not easily replaceable and if the problems he creates is not going to cause the company significant harm, monetary or otherwise. If he did sexual harassment, then it might be a different matter. – Erran Morad May 02 '14 at 17:51
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Although this may seem trivial, it is still theft:

In common usage, theft is the taking of another person's property without that person's permission or consent with the intent to deprive the rightful owner of it.

Theft of any kind would usually be considered Gross misconduct and grounds for summary dismissal.

If this is the case where you work then you might want to print out a copy of the company policy, highlight the section on theft and leave it somewhere prominently in view.

Even though the theft of a snack is probably not worth reporting, it does provide a concrete example of a pattern of disruptive, dishonest and bullying behaviour that could be used as corroborating evidence when a bully does step over the line (the proverbial straw that broke the camels back).

You may also want to look up company procedures on harassment and what your company expects you to do in this situation. You may actually be breaking company rules by not reporting harassing behaviour.

Once a company gets to a hundred employees, it really should have an employee handbook, but it very much depends where in the world you are. I have worked for both multinational corporations and companies as small as 10 employees and they have all had an employee handbook, detailing grievance procedure and general responsibilities.

Mark Booth
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    it's around 100 employees, and call themselves a startup. I really don't know what policy if any exists around theft. – joepa Sep 19 '12 at 11:01
  • Using this kind of theft to get rid of someone is likely to get you some very bad press. It's usually the way some large companies get rid of people they cannot get rid of another way - so they fire them for "stealing" food that would have been thrown away or "stealing" power by charging their personal phone in the office. And I guess chances are good that a guy like the OP described would try to make it look like such a case. – ThiefMaster Sep 19 '12 at 17:33
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    @MarkBooth I didn't downvote, but contemplated it, then saw your comment. My problem with this answer is that every case that could be covered under any given law falls on a continuum. You're not going to get far with a police report on "he stole my snack". Execute the complaint wrong (i.e. if you don't show adequately that it is not an isolated incident) and people in the company, maybe even management, will think you are ridiculous. – Nicole Sep 19 '12 at 18:25
  • @NickC you make a great point; however, mark is correct that this type of act would be taken very seriously if framed correctly – Alex Gordon Sep 19 '12 at 20:47
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    definitely take this matter to the police immediately, snack stealing is clearly against the law! – Eva Sep 20 '12 at 22:11
  • @MarkBooth that might be a good idea so we can avoid this again. Atleast something good came from this! Apologies once more –  Apr 15 '13 at 15:26
  • @MarkBooth - I remove my comments. – Erran Morad May 03 '14 at 01:32
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This behavior reminds me of several people I know, including my brother. Humoring such people only enables (in the AA sense of the word) them to continue their unacceptable behavior. I've found shame to be ineffective as a deterrant.

Last time, I had some snack on my desk and he just took it to his desk and started eating it.

The last time one bully did this to me, I walked over to him and slapped the food out of his hands and onto the floor: "that's my food, not yours, and if I can't eat it, neither will you". It made a stink (meetings! were! held!) that was big enough that he didn't pick on me again - just the folks who he could continue to intimidate and bully. He later left as he started to run out of prey.

Some books I've recommended before, which I believe will help you to recognize future similar situations and develop your own coping strategies for them include:

  • To Be or Not to Be Intimidated.
  • Looking out for number one.
  • Million Dollar Habits. I feel that these 3 by Robert Ringer are very important. If you think his first book was about to intimidate others, you only read the press coverage. If you think his books are about real estate, then you only skimmed them. There are a lot of people in the world who will try to intimidate you into giving up what is yours, and he shows you what some of them are like, and what countermeasures you can use. The first book was originally published as "Winning Through Intimidation" but the bad perceptions of what the title appeared to be suggesting lead the author to waste far too much time defending his "clever" choice of words.
  • Snakes in Suits. There are some evil people out there. You'll work for some of them.
  • Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People. One book on office politics and dealing with some of the worse sort.
  • The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work. Some folks are very good with verbal manipulation, this book and the others in the series, cover how to deal with such people. The author of this book wrote about 20+ other books in this series, all with "gentle art of verbal self defense" in the title. One of the most common verbal attacks you'll encounter can be epitomized in the question: "did you stop beating your wife?" One of the first steps in avoiding a trap is to recognize a trap.

Other thread.

This guy is our office's "all star", very popular, loves attention, and frequently likes to boss people around even when he's only a developer. Today, a project manager got very angry with him for shifting his resources around without asking.

This sounds like Snakes in Suits should be the first one of the above list to read.

Tangurena
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  • Thanks for the great list of books. @RhysW - Maybe you can just snatch it back and tell them that you don't care and you don't share. – Erran Morad May 02 '14 at 17:56
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In the US this would likely be considered a hostile work environment. You have a right to a work environment where you are not subjected to workplace bulling. How ever that does not mean that you have the right to take action into your own hands. If you do you could end up being the one who gets in trouble. Often bullies are not able to handle having it dished back to them and will file a complaint.

First make a complaint to your HR department (or Union rep if you are union). If this is a regular occurrence I would demand that it be entered as a formal complaint immediately. Your company should have procedures in place for handling this. You should find out what they are and how the company expects you to deal with it going forward. If there is any part of it you are uncomfortable with communicate that with HR, they may be able to offer an alternative, or will let you know that is required.

If at any point you feel that the problem is not being addressed, or the company is trying to make it difficult on you, consult an attorney. They will be able to help protect you. I am not a fan of aggressive legal maneuvering but you have to protect yourself first. If you wait until they let you go then the lawyer has less that they can do to protect you, at that point it would be just about getting compensation. If a lawyer is going to have to be involved then it is usually best to get them in as early as possible. Most lawyers would take this type of case on contingency so you should have minimal up front cost.

Rarity
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IDrinkandIKnowThings
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    For those that didn't click through: Note that in the US, the phrase "hostile work environment" has a specific definition given by the EEOC. Official use of it is restricted to "protected classes," meaning the hostility is coming about because of prejudice against race/religion/gender/etc. Workplace bullying alone is not considered generating a "hostile work environment" according to the EEOC. This doesn't mean that going to HR isn't the correct thing to do, it just means that those three magic words aren't going to be as forceful here. – Charles Sep 19 '12 at 18:30
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    Also, you need to say No/warn the person that you feel their behavior is inappropriate. If you never voice these concerns then you undermine your own case both with management and HR. He could be a total jerk and know what he's doing is wrong or just clueless, but until you warn him off once you will not have ammo to go up against him. I'd also keep a record with date and time off what happens and what is said as well has having 1-2 people to verify your story if this gets serious. – Joshua Aslan Smith Sep 19 '12 at 18:35
  • @Charles - I am pretty sure the situation above would qualify for blatant and obviously harassing behavior that EVERYONE is protected from. There are some specific EEOC things having to do with race, sex, and religion but there is general protection for everyone. – IDrinkandIKnowThings Sep 19 '12 at 19:00
  • @Chad, I'd love to get some references about those protections. I don't doubt you, I want to quote them to HR. – Charles Sep 19 '12 at 21:25
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    @Charles - I am not a lawyer you need to consult an attorney for that informatation. But the attorney is most likely going to tell you to just tell HR what is happening and that it is making you feel unsafe at work. It is HR's job to know what they are supposed to do. – IDrinkandIKnowThings Sep 20 '12 at 11:37
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First thing to understand is that this guy isn't a pig, he's a bully.

Bullies are very difficult to challenge. Take him on directly and you'd better be confident in something you can do better than him. Be tough, be smart, be eloquent, be funny or just be more indispensable. But be confident in whatever it is. Because that's what he has working for him -- confidence.

Challenge a bully directly and get it wrong and you just become a target. Problem is that everyone else in the room knows this as well.

A bully is empowered by the reactions of others. Sadly, everyone gives them positive reinforcement because they don't want to be the bully's target. It's just human nature. The path of least resistance.

Bullies are about the only people I would ever suggest taking a passive-aggressive approach to. Don't laugh at his jokes. Share looks of mutual disdain with other people. Talk about what an pain the guy is behind his back. Make it clear that you think people who aren't part of the solution are part of the problem. Give other people the confidence to stop feeding his need for reinforcement. Make compliance the path of most resistance.

pdr
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  • I want to downvote this for two reasons, 1) I am not convinced this is a bully, he may just be a clueless Aspie who doesn't understand that what he does is inappropriate. 2) Passive aggressive is the last thing you want to do with a bully. Bullies are inherently weak because they only target weakness and fear. Challenging them, no matter the outcome is a sure way to label yourself as a difficult target in his eyes, and he will probably leave you alone. Returning his behavior back to him, (Eg. taking his stapler without asking, "Oooh Pepperidge Farm!" grab "Yum!" will do the trick. – maple_shaft Sep 19 '12 at 11:27
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    @maple_shaft: No one's stopping you downvoting if you don't agree. But I have never seen returning a bully's behaviour "do the trick" -- that just escalates the behaviour. Unless, as I say, you can be very sure you're better at bullying than he is. – pdr Sep 19 '12 at 11:50
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    -1: I think pdr may have correctly identified him as a bully, but I agree with @maple_shaft - A passive aggressive approach won't work. It might even add gasoline to the fire. Somebody needs to stand up to the bully. – Jim G. Sep 19 '12 at 11:50
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    @pdr Well maybe I am just going from personal experience but I have found that bullies leave you alone once you start giving them a hard time. If they escalate the situation then you have no choice but to take it to the next level. The alternative is not an option that I will tolerate. – maple_shaft Sep 19 '12 at 12:11
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    @maple_shaft: Because you have confidence in your ability to "beat" the bully. And fair enough, I did say that is an option. Honestly, I'm quick-witted enough to stand up to most bullies and I will. But most people don't have that confidence and if you try to stand up to a bully and get put down, the situation gets a whole lot worse. – pdr Sep 19 '12 at 12:17
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    @pdr It is like climbing a ladder when you are afraid of heights. You start out confident, then doubt creeps in. Then paralyzing fear takes hold. You must not stop climbing because you will be stuck. Know that you may fall, but you will certainly be done for if you just stop climbing. – maple_shaft Sep 19 '12 at 12:26
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    @maple_shaft: It's not like that at all. If you don't climb a ladder, you're no better off than if you try to and fail. There is no long-term cost to giving it a go. A ladder does not need a victim to exist. It will not mercilessly abuse you for challenging it and losing your confidence. – pdr Sep 19 '12 at 12:41
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    @Chad: That's an absolute myth. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/201010/do-bullies-really-have-low-self-esteem – pdr Sep 19 '12 at 13:01
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    @Chad: If that part of the answer is your issue, fair enough. This is obviously a controversial answer and I stand by it for all the up and down votes. But I don't think it's fair to say that self-confidence is closer to an antonym of shame than synonym of self-esteem. – pdr Sep 19 '12 at 13:19
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    -1 While I'm not sure of what would be a better answer, I know this is not it. Passive aggressive behavior is wrong behavior for many reasons which I will not delve into here. – Phil Sep 19 '12 at 13:44
  • @Chad: Hmm, ok, I see the distinction you're making, though I'm not entirely sure I agree with it. But then I would have to make a distinction between self-confidence and confidence in the context I meant it in that statement. I am referring more to a bully's confidence in the effectiveness of his bullying. Perhaps I should reword a little. Not sure what to yet. – pdr Sep 19 '12 at 14:19
  • @Chad: You're right. It's that simple. Done. – pdr Sep 19 '12 at 14:45
  • I would even quote the tips from your link in your answer... though they go against your theory on how to deal with them. – IDrinkandIKnowThings Sep 19 '12 at 15:10
  • @pdr: You're making things waay too complicated. – Jim G. Sep 19 '12 at 23:47
  • -1: One employee being a boor, and the other one passively sniping at him at every opportunity; that's a recipe for a poor quality workplace, miserable employees, and management eventually stepping in and canning the pair of you. – deworde Sep 20 '12 at 08:00
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    @pdr - this guy could be a sociopath. I've see lowlifes like this before. If yes, just kick such people out of your life and company. – Erran Morad May 02 '14 at 17:57
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"Popular, loves attention, boss around, takes you snack", sounds like you have a bully in your office. He's not friendly, he just act so he seems so.

Make sure that you explicitly told him that he cross the line with you, then send him a email to summarize what you said about that. If things continue, then report to your manager. Because it starts with a snack, and ends with moral harassment.

Sylvain Peyronnet
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Why not just approach him and ask him to lay off? Find a suitable time and get his attention with a "can I talk to you alone" kind of thing, and then explain what's bothering you. You can of course use some softer language, such as:

"Hey man, I know you have a sense of humour and whatnot, but X, Y, and Z are not working for me. I don't think a big deal needs to be made, just please don't do X, Y, and Z in the future. I know it probably wasn't your intention to upset me, so I'm letting you know now so that it doesn't become a problem."

If that doesn't work, then talk with management / HR. Being passive-aggressive is definitely not a good solution. You're an adult in a workplace, not a kid in gradeschool - act like it.

Eva
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  • honestly the other suggestions here are ridiculous. Is this how people in the US work? If so.. that's really pathetic – Eva Sep 19 '12 at 19:00
  • that person is obviously not normal, therefore I doubt it would work – BЈовић Sep 20 '12 at 06:17
  • which person is not normal? Honestly it seems like the OP is the one with the problem.. – Eva Sep 20 '12 at 22:14
  • This. 1000% times this, youre adults just talk to the guy! If all youre doing is making jokes then of course he thinks its ok! Why wouldnt he? –  Apr 15 '13 at 15:02
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Hide your snacks for a start!

If he starts throwing his weight around, be assertive but polite. Remember there is a very thin line between assertive and just plain rude.

For instance, in the snack scenario, you could say something like "dude, that's mine! Now I'll have to go hungry" Keep your tone light but not too playful so he knows that you mean it.

If all else fails, just be blunt and tell him straight before you start to hate going to work.

Good luck!

fasheikh
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    Why keep the tone light? If you make a huge deal about it and you yell then he won't take your cookies anymore. Nobody else will steal from you ever again. You are at work to do your job, not make friends. – maple_shaft Sep 19 '12 at 11:30
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    I agree but shouting and screaming will only yield short term results. You could be the best at the job, but if no-one likes you, you won't be there for long – fasheikh Sep 19 '12 at 11:45
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    Perhaps it is cultural differences that determine the best way to deal with a bully. Western culture glorifies independence and free thinking, and this mindset includes attacking bullies even if the outcome would be confrontational. I can understand that certain cultures that value non-confrontational approaches to problems would find it wise to handle the situation differently. – maple_shaft Sep 19 '12 at 11:58
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    I don't think it is all just culture, it depends on people too. But in my opinion, don't let a person bully you but there is no dignity in screaming and shouting. Eventually, you'll end up looking like a bully. Remember you are in an office and not a school playground. It's best to be mature. – fasheikh Sep 19 '12 at 12:01
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    @maple_shaft: I think when you said "Western Culture" there, you meant "American Culture." – pdr Sep 19 '12 at 12:06
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    @fasheikh I believe not being bullied is more important than how others perceive you. I was bullied for years and the passive flexible approach doesn't work. At one point the bully made advances towards my wife and then tried to pretend like he was my best friend. I put aside my fear of how other friends and colleagues would perceive me and I put aside my subconcious fear of the bully. I found the strength to call him out and shunned him from my life. I paid a price for doing this but my life is much better off overall. – maple_shaft Sep 19 '12 at 12:23
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    @maple_shaft i'm sorry to hear that but your case seems way more extreme than the OP's. I was bullied too as a child and I know that screaming and shouting got me nowhere. I am giving the OP my unbiased opinion, not based on my experiences. – fasheikh Sep 19 '12 at 12:35
  • @JimG. In my experience, extreme politeness and courtesy can be absolutely infuriating to a bully. Maintaining the moral high ground can be far more satisfying than blowing your top - You do have to make sure you're wearing a decent pair of running shoes though. *8') – Mark Booth Sep 19 '12 at 14:10
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    @JimG. - Yes being a jerk is not the right way to handle anything and rarely has the desired effect unless your desire is to escalate the situation. – IDrinkandIKnowThings Sep 19 '12 at 14:14
  • my point exactly :) – fasheikh Sep 19 '12 at 14:28
  • @fasheikh, you can be firm without screaming and shouting. – HLGEM Jul 27 '17 at 17:47
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I'm sure you aren't the only one noticing this behavior, and aren't the only one who doesn't like it. He probably thinks he's invincible, and if given enough rope he will probably hang himself. The route I'd take is to outlast him. Be patient, and don't give him any ammunition.

One thing I wouldn't do is confront him. As you say he loves attention, and if you confront him you'll give him a chance to "show his stuff". Chances are he's better then you at manipulating a situation. Instead, complain to HR about his behavior so they have a record of it. The more complaints there are the easier it will be for management to axe him.

Don't give him any ammo. Bring in snacks that you like and he hates. Be polite, but never help with with anything. Put a raw egg on your desk and let him grab it and make a mess all over himself. He won't be able to laugh that one off.

GdD
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    This is supposed to be answers in a professional work environment. Whilst the egg idea would be entertaining it paints a bad picture of the company when he later greets the clients covered in raw egg –  Apr 15 '13 at 15:04