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I've been asked my current salary by colleagues, friends and relatives. And usually, I don't want to disclose it. I would like to know how I can dodge answering that question.

Vietnhi Phuvan
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atmaish
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    Tell them that is information you do not want to disclose. Also this is not about the workplace, so off-topic – Kevin Jun 11 '14 at 09:31
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    Presumably "colleagues" would include those at work. I'll edit the question for @atmaish a bit to put that first. Something like "I'm doing okay" might work, but the answer would be highly specific to the culture involved, so this is going to be a comment rather than an answer. One could also observe (for colleagues) that no good usually comes of it and change the subject. Not being rude is almost always culture-specific. – Spehro Pefhany Jun 11 '14 at 11:27
  • possible duplicate of How to respond to a direct ask of salary earned and expectations? – alroc Jun 11 '14 at 12:45
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    @alroc - that's in the context of applying for a job. This question is in every other context both inside and outside the workplace. – Kate Gregory Jun 11 '14 at 12:52
  • Rather then dodge the question, here is how to answer it without giving your exact salary. http://workplace.stackexchange.com/a/19671/3405 – Simon O'Doherty Jun 11 '14 at 12:59
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    This question appears to be off-topic because it is about social situations, and not about the workplace. – DJClayworth Jun 11 '14 at 14:22
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    @DJClayworth - I'm sure colleagues could ask this question in a non-social situation like in a meeting. –  Jun 11 '14 at 15:06
  • I normally just say “I would tell you, but I don’t want to make you cry,” then grab my crotch and grunt. – Paul D. Waite Jun 11 '14 at 19:45
  • How about "No, sorry." Don't over think it or feel like you need to have some elaborate reason. – Rob Moir Jun 11 '14 at 20:52
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    @Ajaxkevi While I agree that it is as simple as that, I do not agree that this is not work-related. Salary is almost always directly tied to a person's work. – Zibbobz Jun 18 '15 at 20:34

3 Answers3

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Do not dodge. The thing about dodging is that while it may keep you from "having to" answer the question this time, it does nothing to stop the question being asked again. You can distract, change the subject, make a face, say something vague, but they'll just ask again anyway the next time the thought pops into their head.

I suggest you choose one or two stock answers. One is for people who are just plain nosy, say your old neighbours who say "you've really moved up in the world haven't you? How much do pilots make these days anyway?". For them, try:

No offense, but I make it a point never to discuss salaries.

(Word that however is natural for you, but it is deliberately a little more formal than normal speech. Don't say "pay"; say "salary" or "compensation".

For people who might actually want to know if your job is something they or their children should consider, one of these:

I can't complain, that's for sure. It's [hard/dangerous/unusual/challenging] work, with a long training period, but you're well rewarded for that.

I suppose it's like any other [office/outdoor/seasonal/skilled] job, it pays what you expect it pays.

I'm sure not in this for the money! We get by, and I love what I do.

Again word these however is natural for you, and use informal words like "pay" and "money."

For a colleague, you need to step really carefully. Nothing good ever comes of open salary discussions at work. (See Should I encourage my coworkers to share their salaries with each other? ) Try:

These conversations never end well, in my experience. I discuss my pay with [our boss] and nobody else. Hope you don't mind that.

After your one sentence, if the person pushes, asks for details etc then whichever answer you gave, try:

Sorry, but that's really all I'm going to say on the subject.

This should stop the repeat askers and save you from having to lie or say anything you don't mean.

Community
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Kate Gregory
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    If you're speaking to someone looking at working with you, you could also use the average pay for someone in your industry/position; "I make [more/less/the same] than the average person in [basket weaving]; But I wouldn't be comfortable giving an exact number." – Kver Jun 11 '14 at 15:18
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    And if they ask again after you say “that's really all I'm going to say”, then just repeating that once or twice is highly likely to make them stop asking. – Paul D. Waite Jun 11 '14 at 19:47
  • You say " Nothing good ever comes of open salary discussions at work" and link to a question where the accepted answer seems to make the inverse point: "Transparency of things like salaries generally lead to more fairness"... am I missing something? – Konerak Jun 17 '15 at 09:21
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    the accepted answer is pro-transparency but many other answers are not. My experience is that it makes people unhappy and should be avoided. http://workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/19146/managing-a-team-that-openly-discusses-compensations-performance-ratings-and-pa perhaps. – Kate Gregory Jun 17 '15 at 10:15
  • @Konerak The accepted answer is BS. Fairness is in the eyes of the beholder. Fairness in no way implies happy or productive. Those people performing below average will certainly think it is fair that they are making as much as their colleagues in the same position, regardless of performance, but those top performers will definitely be unhappy and believe it totally unfair they are getting paid the same as those far less capable. Thus, either the top performers will stop being a top performer and slack off or leave. Either case results in a worse outcome for productivity and the company. – Dunk Jun 17 '15 at 16:42
  • @Dunk Salary level correlates much more strongly with negotiation skills than with performance. Let's not propagate the illusion that salaries always or even usually match up with performance. There are virtues to keeping compensation confidential, but fairness is not one of them. – Dan Lyons Jun 17 '15 at 17:24
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    @Dan I'm not the one making the claim of fairness or correlating performance and salary. I'm claiming that "open salaries" results in lower productivity over the long term. Thus, it is bad. I will flatly state that when someone believes their self to be a top performer and if they find out they are making less than or the same as someone they believe to be below average then that will definitely negatively impact their performance. Of course, that has to be qualified with, unless there is some other consideration that offsets the pay issue. – Dunk Jun 17 '15 at 17:31
  • @Dunk: "open salaries" result in lower productivity, thus it is bad for the employer. Which he should try to fix by instating fair salaries. For the employee, the opposite is true: you get paid what you're worth, what value you bring to the company. – Konerak Jul 06 '15 at 07:19
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    @Konerak not that this discussion belongs in the comments for this answer, but there is no simple and obvious "fair" salary - people assign different values to each of the myriad skills they bring to the company. A thinks they're worth more than B, but B thinks they're worth more than A. Once they know they make the same (or whatever) they are both resentful and you can't fix it by giving either one a raise. – Kate Gregory Jul 06 '15 at 10:12
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The management policy at my previous workplace is that salary matters are a confidential, personal matter and that employees are not to share their salary info with anyone including other employees. In fact, the work contract that they made me sign me included this clause.

I'd use this as a dodge: "Salaries are a confidential matter, which I am not to discuss with anyone. I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you first :)".

The British actor Christopher Lee (of 1960s vampire movies fame) was asked a number of times about his activities as a WWII commando. Each time, he would conspirationally ask the interviewer "Can you keep a secret?" "Yes!", the interviewer would practically shout with excitement. And Christopher Lee would reply with a smile "So can I !" :)

Vietnhi Phuvan
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    In the US those policies aren't legally enforceable. Discussing compensation is protected by laws intended to protect unionization. http://workplace.stackexchange.com/a/19716/345 – Dan Is Fiddling By Firelight Jun 11 '14 at 18:09
  • I suspect this rule is, from mgmt's point of view, designed to keep everyone unhappy in the (unprovable) belief that their salary is lower than their coworkers--so they should work harder to get a better raise next time. – Carl Witthoft Jun 11 '14 at 18:41
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    you can suspect that, but as a manager I assure you that wasn't my reason. It's as simple as this: it makes people unhappy in an unfixable way. Even if I gave out huge raises to everyone who asked, the unhappiness would remain. It's not a cost-saving measure, it's a conflict-saving measure. Happiness comes from comparing your salary to what you want to make, and me paying you enough. Start comparing to those you think are better or worse than you and conflict emerges, because different people declare "better" differently and it all gets nasty fast. – Kate Gregory Jun 12 '14 at 00:27
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    @KateGregory: Which is the problem with all too many of the comparative-scoring systems -- they emphasize competition against co-workers, which does not work well in environments where teamwork is more productive. – keshlam Jun 14 '14 at 03:38
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    OT, but I have to say that playing Scaramanga (The Man with the Golden Gun), Count Dooku, and Saruman probably brought Sir Lee as much or more fame (especially with younger audiences - and by younger I mean 50 years old and less) than his vampire movies. – GreenMatt Jun 17 '15 at 17:27
  • @KateGregory there's so much projection in your response that it's no longer even worthwhile to consider. have you actually ever witnessed that kind of conflict, or are you just imposing your own version of what you think people are like on the folks "below" you? – mendota Nov 01 '17 at 20:48
  • @Mendota yes, I have seen valuable staff fight with each other and me because they were angry that someone else was making "too much" - they had been ok with their own pay up till then. Have you ever run a company and had to decide everyone's salary? Also, go look up "projection" you're using it wrong. – Kate Gregory Nov 01 '17 at 21:36
  • @KateGregory fine, but it's a gross simplification to apply it to everyone. in my experience pay transparency (which includes some amount of how and why there's a pay differential) leads to people settling for what they have or striving for the next step. but, that was under a union with much, much clearer pay grades. – mendota Nov 01 '17 at 21:40
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Tell them "I have signed a non-disclosure agreement in the company according to which I am not supposed to disclose my salary", or "I think and feel sad about my salary only on the 1st of every month and I hate to think of it for the rest of the days. Please leave that topic dude!"

Edwin Lambregts
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sravan
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