How to leave after working at company for nearly a decade

Question

First time posting, so please bear with.

Some background. I've been working a software company for just short of 10 years now, which is an extremely long time in this day and age I know. But I've always been able to justify it in that the company has always been growing and the work has always changed and been interesting to me. Coupled with the fact that I have the utmost respect for my boss (owner and MD) and everyone I work with, I've never really felt the need or want to leave.

However, more recently (last 2 years or so) I've started to feel the need to explore what else is out there for me and if there any other challenges there for me. I have expressed this to my direct manager and eventually to the MD as well, we discussed other roles I could do and other projects I could take on. Some changes did start to happen and started to feel a little better again. But after some time I just started to feel like I wanted a change again.

So just before the new year I was messaged by a recruiter. I normally just ignore these messages but I thought I may as well given the way I was feeling.

Fast forward a few more weeks and I've actually had 3 new job offers. One I have dismissed as it just isn't the right fit for me or what I want. The other two I've currently got open to me, both offering 20% to 25% increase in salary (although nice, not the main driving force!). They are both excellent opportunities for me, one in particular has excellent progression potential.

I'm pretty set on leaving but I'm not really sure how to approach this with my boss. I had a one-on-one appraisal not that long ago where I basically said that I was happy with where I am (which I guess I am on a basic level).

So I guess the question is. What is the best way to state I want to leave without burning any bridges with my boss?

I've also got this huge amount of guilt weighing on me as I feel I've just lied to manager and boss, but I also feel I'm well within my right to be looking for new opportunities.

Answer 1

What is the best way to state I want to leave without burning any bridges with my boss?

First: make up your mind. Make sure you have made your decision before you resign. Then simply say:

"Hey boss. I'm super grateful to the opportunities and growth that I had here and I want to thank you for all that you have done for me. However, I think it's finally time for me to move on and I have decided to resign." Hand over your letter of resignation (that just states that you resign and your last day of work) and take it from there.

You may get questions like "why do you want to leave?", "what can we do to keep you here?", "why didn't you tell me earlier, so we could work it out?". With a good boss there is no problem in being honest and transparent. Be grateful and friendly but firm.

I've also got this huge amount of guilt

There is nothing you need to feel guilty about. It's your life and your career and you have every right to make the decision that's best for you just as the company has the right to make any decision that's best for them. It's just business and resigning is a perfectly normal part of work-life.

Answer 2

So I guess the question is. What is the best way to state I want to leave without burning any bridges with my boss?

With some bosses anybody that leaves is dead to them. With other bosses they will rehire almost anybody that wants to come back. Only you know which one you have.

I always believe there is no reason to explain why. You saw something that was better for you, and want to go in that direction. Giving a long explanation makes some bosses think there is room to negotiate. But because I always tell people never accept the counter offer, there is no reason to even start the negotiations.

My advice is just make it simple:

I have decided to leave company x/project Y, and my last day is D. Please have HR contact me regarding the last paycheck and the return of company property.

Sincerely,

Make sure the date mentioned meets any required notice period you have.

Answer 3

It's not clear from your question whether you really want to leave your current company or not. But that's is a question you must answer for yourself before proceeding.

I, personally, am not a fan of using competing job offers to extract more money or other concessions from my current employer. In my experienced these almost always are bad options in the long term.

My recommendation is that if you want to stay, then turn down the offers and keep after it. You have gleaned some information about your market value and you can use that in the next review cycle.

If you want to leave, then do so. But be sure that the job you accept is heading in the direction you want to move in your career. You should NOT feel guilty about leaving regardless of how great the current employer has been to you. It's your life and your career, not theirs. You must ultimately look out for yourself first as nobody else will. In my view you have not lied, I assume that when you said those things to your manager they were true at the time. Circumstances change and sometimes they change quickly.

Answer 4

I've several years of recruitment experience and I always ask folks to think about their reasons for moving on, and also to think about what they'll do in certain situations (eg what will you do if your current company offer you more money, or a promotion/progression opportunity?). I think it's worth you considering this as only you know how you feel and what your motivations are.

It sounds like the new opportunities offer growth potential that you can't see at your current firm and you shouldn't feel guilty about pursuing that - it's your career and your life.

I think it's best to be clear and honest with your manager. You were generally pretty happy, but an opportunity has come along that you don't want to turn down. You've enjoyed your time with the company, and will ensure that everything is handed over in great shape for your successor. Work your notice, make sure you're paid for any outstanding annual leave and grab that new challenge.