I was given 6 weeks to join a company, and now I should be joining them in 2 days. But circumstances have changed and I don't want to join them anymore.
Can I save this bridge somehow or it will be burned for life?
Asked
Active
Viewed 400 times
-2
-
The question is unclear. Did you verbally accept the offer? Did you sign your name on the offer letter? If you did sign, you may have a legal issue. If you only verbally accept the offer, you should be fine. It all depends. Please clarify. Vote to close as unclear. Will retract the vote if clarified. – Nobody Oct 04 '21 at 07:58
-
@scaahu Verbal contracts are binding in many jurisdictions. In any case, this issue is about ethics, not legal aspects. – Gregory Currie Oct 04 '21 at 08:22
-
@GregoryCurrie In most cases, verbal contracts cannot be proved unless the conversation was recorded or there was a witness. Witness can be challenged It's hard to bring the OP to the court in verbal offer case. Signed offer letter is a total different. story. I believe the OP is worried about burning the bridge. The question has little to do with ethics. – Nobody Oct 04 '21 at 09:01
-
I'm not sure that the answers to this question will differ significantly from when you asked a similar question ten days ago. The time to tell people these things is always ASAP. If you've left it until 2 days before your starting time, they're liable to be quite annoyed about it. I think at this point, the best thing to do is to chalk it up to experience & move on. – anotherdave Oct 04 '21 at 09:32
-
@GregoryCurrie Please see this answer for Germany. In reality, it's hard to prove a verbal contract. If the case involves billion of dollars, yes, it's worth a court battle. I believe no company would sue a potential employee for declining a verbal offer knowing that the OP would devote themself to the work, why bother? – Nobody Oct 04 '21 at 09:39
-
@scaaahu The title of the question is: "Declining offer right before joining, is it unethical?" So clearly the OP is drawing a parallel between ethical behaviour and burning a bridge. You are the one making the claim that that verbal agreements are not binding, when in reality they are in some jurisdictions, including Germany as it turns out (thanks for proving my point). (Not sure what is special about German in any case) – Gregory Currie Oct 04 '21 at 12:07
-
@scaaahu And the mantra that verbal agreements don't count is dangerous. If the OP says in an email to their employer: "I only verbally agreed and I've gotten advice off the internet that written agreements are the only thing that counts, so I am declining the job." then the OP has screwed themselves over. You should take a bit more care when giving advice if you think you know the legalities of the situation as to not give a false impression. Though I don't know how you can give such advice without knowing the OP's location. – Gregory Currie Oct 04 '21 at 12:13
-
@GregoryCurrie If the OP sends the email, all bets are off. I cannot help that. In the reality, I walk into a store, tell the casher that I want to buy X. The casher take out X, then I say, no, I change my mind, that's declining an offer. If I pay for x and take x home. Next day, I go back to the store and return x, that's declining the signed offer because a deal was already done on previous day. In either case, no ethics issue involved. I just changed my mind. Some store even allow you to do it (Costco is an example) Continued ... – Nobody Oct 04 '21 at 12:25
-
@scaaahu "I cannot help that." You can. If you say: "Verbal agreements are binding, but if it gets to court/mediation, it's about what they can prove." that goes a long way to ensuring the OP doesn't misstep. The legal aspects don't matter here cause that's not what the question is. – Gregory Currie Oct 04 '21 at 12:30
-
@scaaahu I also have no idea why you're talking about transactions in stores. I don't even know what your little story is meant to prove. People can change their minds multiple times and get also sometimes get refunds? If you bought an item of clothing with the intention of wearing it, and then returning it the next day, I would say there is an ethical issue there. It's all about intentions. – Gregory Currie Oct 04 '21 at 12:34
-
@GregoryCurrie The OP may not understand this whole issue. Your answer already said, ethics is a bit fuzzy. Saying what OP wants to do may be unethical is a bit too far. No one has crystal ball to predict what may happen tomorrow. Verbally accepting an offer then change mind is normal (that's why I brought up buying x) . Signing an offer is serious (including digital signature). You need to be responsible for it. We have huge difference about whether changing mind is ethical or not. I stop here. No intention to continue to argue. – Nobody Oct 04 '21 at 12:39
-
@scaaahu I am not saying if the OP is acting ethically or unethically at all. All I am saying is that in some jurisdictions a verbal agreement is just as binding as a written one. You think that if you make a verbal agreement it's perfectly ethical to lie, or be misleading, because it's harder for them to prove you were dishonest in court. This makes absolutely no sense to me. I believe acting with integrity even in situations where the other party would lose in court is actually a very good example of acting ethically. – Gregory Currie Oct 04 '21 at 12:46
-
@GregoryCurrie I would consider it ethical if you had to quit. and I would consider that unethical – Nobody Oct 04 '21 at 12:49
2 Answers
5
First off all, you can't decline a job you have already accepted. You can quit a job before you first day. I would be annoyed if a candidate said "I have decided to decline after all". It implies that there is an outstanding question, there is not, you have already made your decision and now you are going back on it.
Anyway, it's a question of ethics, which is always a bit fuzzy.
For me, it would boil down to if you could have reasonably predicted that you would be in a situation where you would have to quit before your first day.
For instance, if your family situation changed all of a sudden which meant you had to leave the city, I would consider it ethical if you had to quit.
If you were still job hunting after you had already accepted, I would consider that unethical, because you know there was a good chance you might find a better offer.
Ultimately it doesn't matter what we find ethical or unethical, it comes down to what the company you are quitting believes. Hopefully your reasons for quitting resonate with them.
Gregory Currie
- 59,575
- 27
- 157
- 224
-
It leaves a bad taste in either case, but the 2nd scenario is probably a blacklist, while the first one is just extremely inconvenient. – Nelson Oct 05 '21 at 04:28
4
If you're saying you have changed your mind after 5 weeks 3 days, then yes, definitely bridges will be burnt. At this point, it's most likely that whatever you say (or justify) won't be of much effect (unless it's due to a life-changing event) - take your decision considering that you'll burn some bridges.
Sourav Ghosh
- 72,905
- 46
- 246
- 303