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I used to work for a very small family-owned startup with minimum wage, zero benefit, and it was very exploitative and toxic in nature.

The family had other businesses and they used to run the startup on the side, more like an experiment. My colleagues and I were humiliated on multiple occasions including once when I had to take a few days off for some family problems, which they were aware of. We were asked to leave the job multiple times as we were very much replaceable by freelancers. So we were told.

I waited patiently quite long for the next best opportunity. In the meantime, all my colleagues left due to the mistreatment and I was alone in the team handling multiple people's work. I was the last one to leave, to their surprise. Ironically, they suddenly realised that they can't find another employee for my place very soon. I left them anyway and joined my new company, but these people have been trying to contact me every week for almost three months, trying to persuade me to do their job as a freelancer.

I tried ghosting them, told them I signed several contracts that forbid me from assisting any other business, but in vain. They are reluctantly sending me lists of tasks as if I'm still on their payroll. I'm avoiding them now. I don't want to do anything for them and have the stress again which I left them for, and also as I know them, they are not going to pay a fortune. How do I get rid of these people without being super rude?

atk
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X5010
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    Why do you feel the need not to be super rude? They are trying to exploit you. – Philip Kendall Aug 10 '21 at 20:36
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    @PhilipKendall I was trying to keep a smooth relation for future references and things like that. But seems like this bridge needs to be burned. – X5010 Aug 10 '21 at 20:48
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    Are you comfortable and getting along well at your new company? – DaveG Aug 10 '21 at 21:07
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    Why can't you just continue ignoring them? – jcm Aug 10 '21 at 22:17
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    Android and iOS phones both allow you to literally block a number. Why hasn't this been done? If you have a landline, then you can still block the number, just have to contact your phone provider for assistance. – Donald Aug 10 '21 at 22:26
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    Did you try saying “no?” Seems like you (shortly) ghosted them and then made up excuses. “No, I don’t want to work for you any more, and that’s final.” – mxyzplk Aug 11 '21 at 00:46
  • @Steve I’m just not very good at saying no to people or being rude, but I’m going to tell them that I can’t help them. – X5010 Aug 11 '21 at 00:51
  • @JoeStrazzere Nope. Don’t want to work with them at all. I was just trying to say that the whole thing is not worth my time even if they try their best with price. – X5010 Aug 11 '21 at 00:55
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    related: How to get rid of the freelancing work permanently? – Kate Gregory Aug 11 '21 at 12:53
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    "If the choice is between working for you again or going hungry, Im going to be making new notches on my belt. Goodbye." –  Aug 11 '21 at 21:08
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    Make a list of: how many times they have called, and send them a bill? $100 per event should make a good start. – Alan Campbell Aug 12 '21 at 02:25
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    Someone who mistreated you will never be a good reference for you – toxicantidote Aug 12 '21 at 03:47
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    If it really, really, *really* bothers you, then consider a restraining order, forbidding hem to contact you. See our Law site – Mawg says reinstate Monica Aug 12 '21 at 07:12
  • It's very like the problem of breaking off a relationship. You want to be kind to people and to do it in a way that doesn't hurt them, but you end up being ambiguous and not making it clear that you've made a decision and it's finished. You need to be firm. – Michael Kay Aug 12 '21 at 10:34
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    "They are reluctantly sending me lists of tasks" I assume you meant "relentlessly" and not "reluctantly". – Stef Aug 12 '21 at 11:27
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    "I’m just not very good at saying no to people or being rude." - Interpersonal SE is next door. – Mazura Aug 14 '21 at 03:02

13 Answers13

232

I tried ghosting them, told them I signed several contracts that forbid me from assisting any other business, but in vain. They are reluctantly sending me lists of tasks as if I'm still on their payroll. I'm avoiding them now. I don't want to do anything for them and have the stress again which I left them for, and also as I know them, they are not going to pay a fortune. How do I get rid of these people without being super rude?

If you tried ghosting them but it was "in vain", then you aren't doing it right.

Just stop responding. Don't answer any texts, emails or phone calls. Block them if it makes you feel better.

Eventually, they will go away.

(The "not going to pay a fortune" is completely irrelevant if you really do want to avoid them.)

Joe Strazzere
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    Not sure why there are any answers other than this. – BittermanAndy Aug 11 '21 at 10:42
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    Definetly block them on all channels. Then you won't see the requests and won't have this company on your mind all the time. I doubt they mail printed-out Jira tickets. – knallfrosch Aug 11 '21 at 11:02
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    If the OP has contracts that require not doing outside work, then how much they'd pay is irrelevant. – jamesqf Aug 11 '21 at 15:53
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    Since it's something the OP says they're concerned about, it's worth noting that silence isn't rude when you're dealing with unreasonable people. Etiquette does not require OP to answer the same question over and over again. – BSMP Aug 11 '21 at 18:02
  • @jamesqf as a practical matter I think you are right, but pedantically you are wrong. Contracts should be taken seriously but not that seriously. If one breaks a contract, one might be forced to pay damages, but if the damages are less than the reward for breaking the contract then it makes sense to go ahead and break the contract. – emory Aug 13 '21 at 01:29
  • "If you tried ghosting them but it was "in vain", then you aren't doing it right." There are, in fact, youtube videos that teach how to do this. – Don Branson Aug 13 '21 at 12:57
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    @joestrazzere I know, right? – Don Branson Aug 13 '21 at 17:10
  • "without being super rude" - Everyone starts with a credit balance of politeness owed to them. At some point, that credit runs out. Your former employer has reached that point. No need to be "super rude", but no need to be polite, either. – Captain Emacs Sep 17 '21 at 11:50
83

How do I get rid of these people without being super rude?

I have a question for you. How do you get rid of pushy telemarketers and spammers without being super rude?

You politely decline their request and you hang up the phone. Then you block their number. If they continue by email, you just mark their emails as spam (or you make a filter for their email address that automatically skips your inbox). It's really not that difficult. And you can do all these things without "being super rude".

Stephan Branczyk
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    Wait? Being polite to scammers, telemarketers, and otherwise unwanted people interrupting you at dinner is a choice? I thought you were suppose to be extremely rude and enjoy the sweet sweet 10 seconds of rage relief? It's better than therapy to deal with all the scam phone calls and the resulting twitching. – Donald Aug 11 '21 at 15:07
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    Leave out the "politely decline", and just hang up. – jamesqf Aug 11 '21 at 15:54
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    @Donald, you should remember that the people on the end of the line are probably just like you. They may not even like their job, but have to keep doing it to pay bills. Just because the company they work for is BS, it doesn't mean the people who do the daily work are. – computercarguy Aug 11 '21 at 21:45
  • @computercarguy - I have heard horror stories of people losing thousands of dollars to these scammers. The individuals calling are willing making those calls. When confronted with it being a scam they have denied it, the names I have been called, couldn’t even repeat in hell. – Donald Aug 11 '21 at 22:09
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    @Donald, I said "probably", not "all". Obviously some are horrible people, but those who aren't shouldn't be treated as if they are. I have no problems with being rude to people who were first rude to you or others. I quite often reflect back the same energy I get from people, and unfortunately that sometimes includes rudeness or even violent behavior. But I'd rather give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they don't like the situation they have to create any more than I do being in it. And actually scamming people is definitely "rude behavior". – computercarguy Aug 11 '21 at 22:15
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    I just typically just string them along as much as possible, until they realize I am not going to fall for their scam, I celebrate if I make it past 5 minutes. – Donald Aug 11 '21 at 22:28
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    Telemarketers and scammers are two different breeds. Yes, they're both obnoxious, but one of them still has some human qualities. @Donald you & kitboga – mcalex Aug 12 '21 at 05:18
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    "They may not even like their job, but have to keep doing it to pay bills. " - sorry, no excuse. I'm quite content to make them hate their job so much that they quit. The only ones I feel sorry for are the people making genuine calls, like telling you your car is due for a service, who now find themselves talking to customers who pick the phone up assuming it's going to be another scammer. – Michael Kay Aug 12 '21 at 10:29
  • The "companies" running these scams have to make their employees happy enough not to quit. Marginally, if you make calls less enjoyable, they may demand higher pay or quit. Also if you keep them on the phone for longer, you hurt the scamming company – hedgedandlevered Aug 12 '21 at 14:05
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    Consider what being rude does to you. Each time it builds the habit of rude behavior a bit, makes it a little more likely that you will do or say things in OTHER situations that you will later regret; in other situations can put off people who were almost friends. While especially scammers may 'deserve' rudeness, do you want the job of delivering it? – Technophile Aug 12 '21 at 16:03
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    I commend to you the YouTube videos by James Veitch. He has a lot of fun with scammers. – Technophile Aug 12 '21 at 16:04
  • @computercarguy While I would agree with not going out of my way to be rude to them, it's not like they just accidentally ended up in a job making obnoxious, unwanted telemarketing calls. They knew what they were getting into when they signed up for the job and took it anyway. Personally, I would consider spam phone calls to be extremely rude behavior, regardless of whether or not it's technically a scam. The company can't be garbage without finding people who are willing to engage in said garbage for hire. – reirab Aug 13 '21 at 04:25
  • @Donald You must have lots of free time, or you get spam calls very seldom, if you're happy spending 5 minutes with them. Anyway, if you earn more than minimum wage, you're likely losing more value during those calls than the company calling you. – Dmitry Grigoryev Aug 13 '21 at 09:29
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    @mcalex scammers have human qualities too. The real difference between scammers and telemarketers is legality, not ethics. It's like with yielding your seat to a pregnant woman on a subway: if I refuse to yield a regular seat, I'm being an a-hole; if I refuse to yield a seat dedicated to the pregnant, I'm being an a-hole and a minor offender. Note the a-hole part stays the same. – Dmitry Grigoryev Aug 13 '21 at 09:38
  • @Dmitry - I look forward to the opportunity to keep a criminal scammer from reaching somebody’s grandparents and taking their money. The only payment i need is their sweet sweet tears. – Donald Aug 13 '21 at 10:33
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    @reirab, that's not necessarily true. I worked in a call center for a couple of months. I was told it was going to be one thing, but then it ended up being cold calling. It wasn't a scam, but it wasn't what I was told it would be, either. I only stayed that long because the job they said I was supposed to get would be the "reward" if I passed their "temporary" other project. I absolutely hated the job, and not just because it was cold calling, but it paid the bills. And yes, there are plenty of people who are desperate enough to find jobs they hate just to survive. – computercarguy Aug 13 '21 at 16:44
  • @DmitryGrigoryev with respect, I disagree. A closer analogy would be between refusing to yield for a pregnant woman on a regular seat vs physically assaulting that women to make her leave the protected seat so you can sit down. Telemarketers will call you at the worst time, and try to con you into paying for something that you are likely to have at least some legal recourse to revert once you catch on. In some cases the people actually want their products. Scammers are straight-up thieves who prey on innocence and naiveté. Nope, they ain't human. – mcalex Aug 17 '21 at 06:16
  • @reirab As someone who once ended being a basically cold call sales person, it is not necessarily true that someone "knew what they were getting into"; I started work in an inbound call center, we lost the contract, I got transferred to an outbound sales position. I got a new job as soon as I could, but I had bills to pay in the meantime. I eventually got laid off when the whole thing went poorly. (Imagine, converting a bunch of inbound customer service people to ruthless sales people didn't work? shock) Kindest thing to do to a telemarketer is just to hang up, though, if you're not buying. – coppereyecat Sep 17 '21 at 21:13
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You have a couple of options, probably more than I'm going to list here

  • Block or otherwise make it so you don't see calls or texts from them, continuing to ignore them.
  • If you do have some spare time and are willing, give them a VERY HIGH price per hour for the work you will do for them. Make sure you have a written contract, and are paid quickly for any work you do. They will either accept, and you get money, or they will decline. Make sure, if you do this, that the price is actually high enough for you to be willing to do the work; and you have someone competent to help you with the contract. Don't accept a counter-offer for less money.
  • Contact a lawyer and have the write a letter to them, asking them to quit contacting you for work. (This will burn bridges, but might still be worth it.)
thursdaysgeek
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    Make sure it is not merely ridiculous, but super-ridiculous. Don't accidently quote a semi reasonable rate. – Michael McFarlane Aug 10 '21 at 21:32
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    Be aware that with option 2 they may accept your offer, let you do the work and then just never pay you. If that is the route you go down you will want to CYA so very much. – GPPK Aug 11 '21 at 06:41
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    Don't make it super ridiculous, just high, and payment up front. – Stian Aug 11 '21 at 07:00
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    @StianYttervik have them pay everyday upfront with a clause in the contract that makes it possible to stop the contract at the end of any given day. Because if they pay you in front for a whole month you're stuck for the month. – J_rite Aug 11 '21 at 07:54
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    Make sure it's high enough you'd legitimately be willing to do the work for that money. Whether that's $500 or $20000 in your case. Many people would put up with some toxicity for a bit in exchange for a new car. – user253751 Aug 11 '21 at 08:39
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    If you go route #2 (give them a price), don't forget that as a freelancer you will have additional costs related to your filing and tax obligations. So if you want X in your pocket for the work, you should probably at leat double the amount to take that into account (depends a lot on your location and actual status). If you can accurately estimate the time it takes to do the tasks, it may be better to work on a per-task basis (with very small, delimited, well defined tasks, and upfront payment for each task before you even start working). – jcaron Aug 11 '21 at 10:31
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    Also make sure your current work contract actually allows you to work on the side. – jcaron Aug 11 '21 at 10:32
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    @GPPK, that's why you get it in a written contract drafted by a lawyer. If they don't pay you, you take them to court. Make sure your price is high enough to make it worth your while to go down this road if you need to. – Seth R Aug 11 '21 at 14:43
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    Not only get the contract written by a lawyer, but by a lawyer who is willing to go to court (are there any who aren't?) in defense of the contract for a pre-defined fee. Otherwise your legal costs could end up eating all the money you thought you were going to make. – FreeMan Aug 11 '21 at 15:42
  • @SethR distinguish taking them to court from (1) collecting on any judgment in your favor, (2) any guarantee that you will win (oops, overlooked a clause), (3) getting paid for spending the same time on perhaps-enjoyable paying work instead. – Technophile Aug 12 '21 at 16:07
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    @Technophile, yup, those are all factors to consider when coming up with a price. This is standard risk management. If the price you need to do this joyless work is $10k (note: not your standard rate. For the same job you would charge most clients $3k), but you think there is a 50% chance they will give you trouble come payment time, quote them $20k (plus whatever a lawyer costs). If they refuse, good, you didn't want the work anyway. If they accept, you have enough incentive to take on the risk. – Seth R Aug 12 '21 at 16:32
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    Option 2 is not telling them no. It's a passive-aggressive attempt to get them to say no. They'll either accept whatever ludicrous (to you) sum you proposed, or they'll start an argument about why you should do it for less. Either way, you aren't any closer to actually telling them no. – chepner Aug 12 '21 at 17:25
  • @chepner - option 2 can be a yes, if there is a price point where the OP is willing to do the work, based on the risks. But responding to their counter-offer does need to be a no. – thursdaysgeek Aug 12 '21 at 18:12
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    @Seth R or get half up front, and include binding arbitration. Money and energy spent on lawsuits are... spent. Gone. And even if you win, they can drag their feet on paying you. So you have to collect. – Technophile Aug 26 '21 at 15:22
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I tried ghosting them, told them I signed several contracts that forbid me from assisting any other business, but in vain. [...] How do I get rid of these people without being super rude?

At the risk of stating the obvious: Tell them in unambiguous words

  • that you are not interested in continuing to work for them (without giving a reason),
  • that you are not going to change your mind and
  • that they should please stop contacting you.

No excuses, no "it's inconvenient right now", no "sorry, my contract doesn't allow that", but a simple NO. If this happens on the phone and they ask for reasons, simply repeat that you are "not interested". You owe them no explanation, and they are the ones being rude by pestering you.

This has the following advantages over the things you have already tried:

  1. If you give them a reason, you invite them to argue. If you don't give them a reason, they have nothing to argue against.

  2. If you explicitly tell them to stop contacting you, they know what you want them to do.

  3. It's a lot less rude than just ghosting them.

After that, I'd give them one more reminder ("I told you to stop contacting me", no "please" this time) and then ignore/block communications from them. Yes, ghosting people is about the super-rudest thing you can do in inter-personal communication (in my opinion - I am aware that not everyone agrees and that this is a cultural thing), but you gave them warning in advance, gave them one reminder (which you weren't obliged to do) and they left you no other choice.

Heinzi
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  • This will not work. They will completely ignore this and keep bugging the OP. The only thing "DO NOT REPLY AT ALL". No life sign, no acknowledge, no anything. – Hilmar Aug 11 '21 at 12:45
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    @Hilmar: I agree that this is a possibility, which is why your suggestion is already included as the last (third) step of escalation in my answer. But since OP explicitly does not want to be rude, it's the last step, not the first. – Heinzi Aug 11 '21 at 12:53
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Send them an quotation, with a high hourly rate.

Tell them you can help them, but as you are no longer on their pay roll and you dont want to work for free, you have to charge an hourly rate.

A high hourly rate of (eg)150$, billing every started quarter, paid in advance, for all work relating to developing (eg designing, consulting, documenting, etc). Give an estimation, but make sure you add a clear note that it's exactly that, an estimation. And make sure you give them a realistic but high estimation.

It is not about getting the job, it's about setting a boundery, the intention is to scare them off with your rate, to not be the path of least(or cheap) resistance. You want them to reconsider. You've given your terms, they probally can get it done cheaper, great!

You might want to discuss this with your current employer, keeping them up to date. Explain that you have no intention of working or them.

Personally, I have had a lot of people with the "hey, you work with computers right? Can you xyz?". Politely telling those people I value my spare time is frowned upon and often met with a grumpy attitude. Using this method1, they often respond with a "Ah reasonable. Gonna have to think about it", only to never return. This is a very common technique (for IT people).

1 if you're not dealing with companies 60$/hour often is enough to get the message across.

Martijn
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  • This could probably be used against the OP, in many ways. One of which could be sending the quotation to the OP's current employer and try to sabotage their reputation and put his/her job at risk. – Sara Aug 11 '21 at 10:37
  • Also, any kind of communication would lead to chain mail and that is what the previous employer wants. – Sara Aug 11 '21 at 10:38
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    I've added a line about discussing this with the current employer – Martijn Aug 11 '21 at 10:54
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    If OP as no intention of working for them, then they should not send this. Only send it if actually willing to do the work if the ex-employer somehow accepts the conditions. But check first if this is allowed by current work contract, make sure the rate takes into account all the overhead related to freelancing (accounts, filings, registrations, taxes, social security...) and make sure the work to do is very clearly defined and delimited. – jcaron Aug 11 '21 at 11:36
  • I've added a personal note to my answer :) – Martijn Aug 11 '21 at 11:44
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    Also as recommended in comments above, if OP doesn't trust them, then if OP goes this route they should most definitely collect payment much more frequently than quarterly (e.g. daily) and add a "I can stop at any time for any reason" clause to prevent the possibility of the exploitative ex-employer getting a large chunk of work out of OP and then simply never paying them for it. By getting payment frequently and upfront, and by having no legal requirement to continue past any given point, OP effectively reduces their risks to near zero, transferring those to the ex-employer. – bob Aug 11 '21 at 13:31
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    Given the ex-employer's exploitative history, this seems like the only reasonable way to engage them, should OP decide to do so (though I wouldn't recommend it lightly). – bob Aug 11 '21 at 13:31
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    $150 hour isn't that far off the type of rate I would expect from the author for a real quote. That certainly is near my actual hourly rate. – Donald Aug 11 '21 at 15:09
  • For good friends and family, a bill with a reasonable hourly rate, with 100% rebates, makes it clear that you are a professional, and you are doing them a great favour. And if they have any sense, they don't recommend you to their friends for cheap work. – gnasher729 Aug 11 '21 at 15:09
  • "150 hour isn't that far off the type of rate", I agree for reasonable people. But the old employer clearly isnt one of those. If $100+ p/hour would be acceptable, he would've hired someone by now :) – Martijn Aug 11 '21 at 15:18
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    Be careful with this method i once totally over quoted the job and still got it! Worst day of my life. – JonH Aug 12 '21 at 03:29
  • I did this as well. Got the job though (was small enough) and some money. But it was the last time they contacted me. So for me that approach worked. – CShark Aug 12 '21 at 13:50
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    Anyone who has been exploitative in the past, (1) pays in advance, and (2) pays by the hour not for specific work. The advance pay is basically a retainer which will cover a week or two of expected hourly billing (or three weeks, or four). – J. Chris Compton Aug 12 '21 at 17:21
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It's a bit extreme, but you might talk to the police or your local political representative about what options are available to stop this "harassment".

NameGoesHere
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    +1, but I would add that a clear reply to them saying leave him alone should come first, and should be in writing. – donjuedo Aug 11 '21 at 18:19
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I have the feeling that part of the problem is that you need to be more assertive, which is a problem I also know too well. With unreasonable and bad people, if you tell them no but are not assertive enough, they interpret it as "this person is weak, I can get him to do as I say". What might help you is a change of perspective. Here I leave you a list of thoughts that helped me. Feel free to pick the points that help you or even get creative:

  • It's ok to be rude to people trying to harm you on purpose.
  • Are you taking responsibility for other people's feelings? If so, remind yourself that it's their business, not yours. If someone gets angry because you told him "no", it's their problem.
  • Saying no to those people is saying yes to yourself: to your peace, your time, your well being, etc.
  • Think of telling them no and blocking them as some king of protective shield against their rudeness.

There is also a book called The Gift of Fear: And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence, from Gavin de Becker. You can download it in pdf. It contains a chapter dedicated to situations when some harasser doesn't take no for an answer. It basically says what Joe Strazzere already wrote here (not answering them, block them), plus what you shouldn't do (be very careful to involve the police, because then you create a strong relationship), plus why such people do what they do (they are nor reasonable, they twist your words in their heads).

Purrrple
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The important, and kinda neglected in other answers, part is:

told them I signed several contracts that forbid me from assisting any other business, but in vain.

Next time when they try to contact you in writing / mail, reply with something like this:

I am forbidden from assisting you per my contract with [company], signed on dd/mm/yyyy. Please do not ask me to breach my contract. If you will continue to do so, I will feel obligated to report this to [company]'s legal division and ask them for assistance.

This is not rude, this is factual, if cold, and shows you are serious about your contracts. Fear of a lawsuit from your current employer, and clear information that they might be entering illegal territory, should work like a really good deterrent.

And if it won't work as a deterrent, then by all means you should ask company you have a contract with for assistance. They deserve to know who is approaching you asking to possibly break your contract with them, and will be best equipped to assist you in the matter.

Mołot
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1

I had this problem with a staffing firm that would call me multiple times a day, even after I made it quite clear to them that I didn't want them to contact me anymore. Eventually, I contacted the police for assistance getting them to stop (which was successful). In my case, I was able to email the police department in the area where the company was headquartered, which was quite helpful. You can also file a harassment complaint with your local police department.

Before you try either option, make sure that you are quite clear with them that you don't wish them to contact you anymore. Keep copies of any communication and make sure that you get it in writing - for example, email (preferably with a delivery and read receipt requested, so that you can prove that they received it) and/or certified mail (again, so that you can prove that they received it). Also be sure to keep records of any phone calls or emails you receive from them so that you can prove that they continued to contact you after you asked them not to.

You can also block their email (e.g. have Outlook auto-delete their emails, or perhaps block them with your ISP) and use a call-screening app to reject any calls from them.

EJoshuaS - Stand with Ukraine
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0

If you really want to burn the bridge, which it sounds like you do, and asking them to stop contacting you hasn't worked, ask again in writing by both electronic and physical means with an invoice for a letter handling fee for your time (much like some businesses like banks charge for sending you a "payment is late" letter). Each time the contact you send a revised invoice.

They will probably stop contacting you quickly. If they don't, then a few letters in the total will likely be enough to raise at your local small claims court at which point tell them you will take that route if they don't either pay the outstanding amount or stop contacting you. The goal isn't to actually make money off this, it is to stop them because they don't want it on public record that their business was taken to court, even the small claims court.

Of course the validity of this option depends greatly on the law of your locality.

David Spillett
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-1

Discuss the matter with your current employer as you have here...

...Now is there any mileage in the new employer stealing work from the previous employer. Clearly the previous company are at the very least struggling, so why not look upon it as an opportunity to get more work? Leave it to new company to do the pitching. Don't do anything underhand.

Peter Fox
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-2

I would respond to them with an offer to freelance for an hourly rate that is high enough that you'd actually enjoy doing the work. If that's 10 times what they paid before - fine. If it's 20 times - no problem. It's a free country, they can choose to accept your offer or not.

After that, whenever they contact you, point to the offer and ask if they accept or not.

Clarification: I mean what I write: Quote them a number where you'd actually want to do the work if they actually accepted. If it's $1000 per hour, quote them that. Don't explain the price. And if they really take you up on it - make sure they pay in advance.

Tom
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    One million dollars, in advance. – Jon Custer Aug 11 '21 at 19:32
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    Making an offer you don't actually intend to follow through on is dangerous business. What if they actually accept, against all expectations? OP doesn't want to work for these people at any price, so he shouldn't waste his own time pretending like he would. – Steve-O Aug 11 '21 at 21:50
  • Why is it downvoted? – TT_ stands with Russia Aug 12 '21 at 02:45
  • @TT_ Steve-O's comment above yours should give you an idea why – sox supports the mods Aug 12 '21 at 10:52
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    @Steve-O who said anything about not following through? I have one employer in my work history that I would definitely not work for again. But if they offered me, say, 10 grand a day as a freelancer I'd definitely go, swallow my pride for a month and then go on holiday for a year. – Tom Aug 12 '21 at 15:15
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    @soxwithMonica Nope. Tom's answer does not imply that "you don't actually intend to follow offer". – TT_ stands with Russia Aug 14 '21 at 02:42
  • @Tom In the original question, OP was very clear that he wanted nothing more to do with these people. He just wants them gone. Therefore offering a contract HE doesn't want to follow through on is terrible advice. The fact that YOU would follow through is beside the point. We're trying to help OP here. – Steve-O Aug 18 '21 at 12:31
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An expansion of @thursdaysgeek's last answer, but cheaper (even free).

Use your new company's legal team. Tell them you are being harassed by your former employers and need legal assistance on how to tell them to cease and desist. Your new employer's legal team will be more than happy to protect their own staff from harassment from another employer.

Nelson
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    Your new employer's legal team will be more than happy to protect their own staff from harassment from another employer - That seems highly doubtful to me. Unless the former employer's "harassment" was having a tangible economic and material impact on the current employer's business then I don't see why the current employer would care or get involved. I can think of several reasons though why they wouldn't get involved. – joeqwerty Aug 11 '21 at 02:43
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    @joeq Poaching employees is a thing legal is interested in. Legal spends most their time doing Itty bitty changes to obscure documents that are never read, they'd love to get some action like this. – Stian Aug 11 '21 at 07:03
  • Depending on the size of the company, this may involve paying external lawyers to do this work, which means costs. And time to manage all that. Most employers would probably rather not have to deal with this. – jcaron Aug 11 '21 at 11:38
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    On that note, some companies offer Employee Assistance Programs, which often include legal advice – Juliana Karasawa Souza Aug 11 '21 at 11:59
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    Downvoted. You do NOT want the get your current employer involved in this: It's an easy enough problem to deal with and asking for help is inappropriate (since it's a non-trivial expense for your employer) and makes you look incompetent. – Hilmar Aug 11 '21 at 12:44
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    Your new company's legal department is not your personally retained lawyer. Weird answer. – Bort Aug 11 '21 at 16:54
  • @Hilmar I think having your new company's lawyers send an official letter printed on the company's letterhead to them demanding them to stop trying to poach you would be an entirely workable solution to this. – nick012000 Aug 12 '21 at 03:27
  • @nick012000: yes, but why would they do that? Why should they spend time and money on it and expose themselves to legal risks? It's not their problem and there is an obvious and simple solution that doesn't involve them. – Hilmar Aug 13 '21 at 12:16
  • @Hilmar Employee loyalty and morale, protecting the company from losing talent to the competition, etc. – nick012000 Aug 13 '21 at 15:31
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    They might be fine with losing someone who is apparently not capable of dealing with a small personal problem that has a simple lawyer-free solution. – Hilmar Aug 14 '21 at 16:08