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My kids are beginning that stage in schooling where we get fundraiser candy/candy bars to sell. I'm being asked to "take these to work" but I'm the lead of a team of six. Would it be appropriate for me to bring the box in and leave it in the break room? Does anyone have suggestions for making sure my team doesn't feel obligated to buy any?

To make things more complicated, I'm currently writing my team's yearly performance reviews.

David K
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Lou Fancy
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    Has anyone else in the company done this? Some company cultures are ok with this and others have a strict policy against it. You may want to check with HR if your not sure or haven't seen it before. – Neo Sep 23 '19 at 14:43
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    Who is asking you to take it to work? (I'm from a different place where we don't do this at all, so I'm curious to know who puts the pressure on in the first place) – njzk2 Sep 24 '19 at 03:48
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    Could you clarify what exactly "fundraiser candy/candy bars" are for those of us not in the US? – Ilakoni Sep 24 '19 at 19:44
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    Could you clarify what you mean with "taking it to work"? I assumed it meant you bought a box and rather than eat them all yourself, you'd put them in the break room at work, but the answers seem to assume that you're taking them to work to sell them there on behalf of your child. – Jasper Sep 25 '19 at 07:53
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    @Jasper "...making sure my team doesn't feel obligated to buy..." makes it pretty obvious that it's the latter. – Based Sep 25 '19 at 08:51
  • @PeterPaff Good point. I'd still like that to be explicit in the question, though. (I'd edit, but I don't exactly know what the most natural way to add it is in this instance, perhaps because I don't know the American culture about this kind of thing) – Jasper Sep 25 '19 at 09:05
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    “Conscientious and willing to learn, but frequently looks like they have low blood sugar.” – Paul D. Waite Sep 25 '19 at 10:59
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    as a side note, who is supposed to sell the candies? i don't know how it works with schools, but when scouts have fundraisers, a part of the point is that the kids do the work to raise their own funds, and not let the parents do it. so i would refuse and explain why it's important that the kids sell the candies themselves. – eMBee Sep 25 '19 at 12:33
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    @Ilakoni : Candy, possibly of somewhat higher than average quality, sold for a notably higher price. Customers typically know that they are overpaying, but are satisfied to do so because they know the profits are funding something good, so customers feel somewhat charitable. Girl Scouts is famous for doing this, not with candy, but with cookies. – TOOGAM Sep 25 '19 at 12:56
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    MisterPositive's comment is even more important than a general company culture thing: it's difficult to navigate between 15+ fundraising drives, all the same but broken out into different "seller" children. Like, 15 students from the same school all having their parents bring candy into the same workplace for sale during the same fundraising drive. If it's more common, the team lead status might be more of an issue if people think it directs more sales towards your children, specifically. – Upper_Case Sep 25 '19 at 19:53
  • @eMBee When I've seen these in workplaces, they've often been an honour system: box of candy bars with a donation style (drop slot) box beside it, and a price tag. The expectation somewhat clearly being on the parent/hockey team member/etc to "sell" them. – mbrig Sep 25 '19 at 20:28
  • @mbrig I usually see a human pushing them. Partly, they want to make sure people aren't stealing or paying the $1 they think the bar is worth. – Harper - Reinstate Monica Sep 25 '19 at 23:01
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    IMO, buy the box out of pocket ... and provide candy bars w/ performance reviews. Put the extra in the break room. If your a team lead, you can prob afford it w/ out breaking a sweat and you will make your team and your kids happy. – CaffeineAddiction Sep 26 '19 at 15:48
  • What about the students whose parents don't work so don't have the ability to "take them to work"? I'd be inclined to come out in solidarity with those parents and refuse to take part, but it's also a genuine question about what happens in that situation. Surely it isn't mandatory. Do you actually feel you want to contribute to this, aside from the perceived 'misuse of the team leader position' aspect? Team leader or not your kids' school shouldn't be funded by donations from co-workers - especially as that must be a tiny amount compared to what it costs to run a school! – seventyeightist Sep 26 '19 at 19:35

12 Answers12

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Make sure it's okay per company policy and HR. (It would be wise to give HR the heads up that you're putting it in the break room).

Then leave the fundraiser box in the break room, with an indication on what organisation the fundraising is for. (But not you or your children's names).

If you're concerned about your reports feeling pressure to "donate", don't mention it's yours, and don't mention it to your reports. Then nobody feels compelled to buy any.

Aida Paul
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Gregory Currie
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    If you're concerned about your reports feeling pressure to "donate", don't mention it's yours, and don't mention it to your reports. Then nobody feels compelled to buy any. -- perfect. – Neo Sep 23 '19 at 15:00
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    Yet fundraisers only work because personal attachment. I don't donate anything to a random person coming to me. But I'd gladly give something to children of colleagues and friends. - So not saying that it's yours defeats the whole point of a fundraiser. – paul23 Sep 23 '19 at 20:11
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    @paul23 You're not being asked to donate. They are fundraiser chocolates. – Gregory Currie Sep 23 '19 at 23:07
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    @paul23 Note also that at the places I've worked, people usually chuck the fundraiser box in the break room without anything other than the recipient organisation written on the box. Usually by the end of the first week, all the chocolates are gone. So while it doesn't work in your workplace culture (or you specifically), it is not the same for all workplace cultures. – Gregory Currie Sep 24 '19 at 01:50
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    Some people just love those fundraiser stuff and would buy them up really fast. It really depends on the person. Some grew up with fond memories in their own childhood so the emotional return for them is significantly higher. – Nelson Sep 24 '19 at 03:10
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    @paul23 While you may not know which colleague's children are involved, it's a pretty good guess that a box appearing in the break room comes from a colleague and not from a random stranger. – Angew is no longer proud of SO Sep 24 '19 at 07:44
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    Get the kids to write a note (or paint a poster) to put with the candy, even if you dictate it to them. – Robin Bennett Sep 24 '19 at 11:03
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    @GregoryCurrie, if the fundraiser chocolates are 2~3x as expensive as similar ones in the supermarket it strongly feels like a donation. So Paul's comment stays valid. –  Sep 24 '19 at 11:21
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    This is a good solution as long as it's not easy to guess who left the candy. For example if you're a small organization and it's well known that your kid is the only one raising money, then anonymity won't work. But otherwise this is a good solution. – bob Sep 24 '19 at 18:30
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    I think this is a reasonable suggestion. However, the specifics of my team/break room would make it impossible for me to do this anonymously. – Lou Fancy Sep 24 '19 at 20:30
  • @Angew I don't think knowing it is a coworker is the problem so much as the imbalance of power that comes from knowing it is your supervisor. – kleineg Sep 24 '19 at 20:38
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    @kleineg They were trying to address the concern that paul23 had that people won't understand the personal connection to the organisation benefiting from the fundraising. – Gregory Currie Sep 25 '19 at 03:01
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    "Yet fundraisers only work because personal attachment" [citation needed] – iono Sep 25 '19 at 06:43
  • @paul23 You don't suppose that some people would donate to support a cause regardless of who's holding the fundraiser? – Backgammon Sep 25 '19 at 16:46
  • @paul23 The anonymous candy box in the break room "works" because of product placement. The "right" to place such a box there does depend on your personal connections (to your boss), but not generally to the buyers (who, seeing sugary candy, are tempted to fork over a bit of cash to get it). You might sell more if it was cheaper and not fundraiser candy, but your boss would probably dislike you opening such a business in the break room, but is ok with fundraiser candy. – Yakk Sep 25 '19 at 17:45
  • @LouFancy It doesn't matter really if the BOX is anonymous, what matters is if the PURCHASES are anonymous. So long as you aren't hovering over the box, or seeming to count who eats what candy (ie, don't even mention it), there isn't going to be pressure to buy it. – Yakk Sep 25 '19 at 17:48
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I believe this is a bad idea. A team leader should not put members of their team in a situation to even have to think about this scenario.

If even one person on your team feels compelled to donate (and you may never know this was the case), then you may have harmed the relationship with that employee. Is the amount of money your candy fundraiser generates worth the impact on that relationship?

cdkMoose
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    @LouFancy, I've been down that path myself, unfortunately, there's not much more I can help with that but I'll let you blame me if that will help – cdkMoose Sep 23 '19 at 18:29
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    @LouFancy: You don't "refuse" the request. You explain that it is not appropriate for your particular work environment, and that you are not in a position where you can change that. For a larger company, that could translate to "not allowed by HR". The key is to shift the blame. – MSalters Sep 24 '19 at 11:00
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    Not only harmed the relationship, but failed as a leader independently of the relationship. You have authority, don't misuse it nor through ignorance let it be misapplied, especially when you or your family stand to gain... – Stian Sep 24 '19 at 18:04
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    @cdkMoose I took this option and explained to my wife why it might seen inappropriate to do this. She was awesome like always and I feel a little silly for worrying about this. – Lou Fancy Sep 24 '19 at 20:08
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    I would put it somewhere where people can donate or not donate if they want anonymously. I've seen this in a couple of offices and it worked well. –  Sep 25 '19 at 10:11
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I agree with cdkMoose and would add another choice: buy the candy yourself and anonymously put it in the break room for others to take at no cost.

Literalman
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    Interesting compromise! I can follow my wife's request to "take this to work" but I won't risk alienating my team. I'm out a couple of bucks. Maybe I'll just keep it in my desk and make this a win/win/win. – Lou Fancy Sep 23 '19 at 17:04
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    Please don't keep them in the fundraiser box if you do so. People know what these things look like, and will be very confused if they are meant to pay for them or not. – Gregory Currie Sep 24 '19 at 03:06
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    @GregoryCurrie You can keep them in the box if you say to your team "There was this fundraiser going on and then I decided to help by buying you guys candy", too. – T. Sar Sep 24 '19 at 10:53
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    @LouFancy If you do go this route and attach your name to it, be mindful that this may inadvertently raise expectations for future fundraisers brought in by other coworkers. "Oh, I guess he/she isn't one of the coworkers that buys the candies upfront for the enjoyment of the team." This might not be an issue with your team, but would at least be worth considering if these fundraisers are somewhat common. – maxathousand Sep 24 '19 at 16:21
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    This is a terrible solution. You're just giving money to parasite candy sellers. Send that garbage back to the school and just donate the money outright. More will end up going to the school, you won't have to eat horrible chocolate, and the vampires won't make off with half of your money. If you want to give your coworkers a treat, just go buy some real chocolate and skip the fundraising candy baron tax altogether. – J... Sep 24 '19 at 16:54
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    @J... I'm trying to work this out but have not been successful. Based on a parent's complaint the school is no longer allowed to request money from students to attend a field trip. Their only method for funding field trips now is fundraisers. To their credit they are very transparent about how much money they need and how much they have. This is brand new so it's my hope that with a little coaxing they will allow a donate option. I'd very much perfer that. – Lou Fancy Sep 24 '19 at 20:06
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    @LouFancy Is the rule that no one can donate? Or that they cannot request donations? Those are very different animals. – kleineg Sep 24 '19 at 20:40
  • Not only would you need to get agreement with your spouse for this, but it essentially undermines/makes useless the idea of the candy. The idea is that the parents and children aren't having to pay for everything out of pocket. I did a lot of fundraising as a kid and I did so I didn't have to pay for things out of pocket. – computercarguy Sep 24 '19 at 21:49
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I'm going to post an auxiliary answer that might highlight why you have to be especially careful with this sort of thing.

I work for a company that has a very cozy relationship with United Way. A lot of the top executives have connections with people that serve on the United Way board. We don't merely do a pledge drive - we're given all sorts of work enticements to donate (extra paid time off, dress code perks, etc). And, a bit ominously, all our donations through the company are tracked year-by-year.

Now, imagine pledge drive comes around, and you have a desire to climb the corporate ladder. You weren't planning on donating to United Way - you feel there are a lot better charities and were planning on giving to a Meningitis vaccine charity. But... you know that the C-Suite knows whether you donate to United Way. And you're not sure whether that would be a mark against you. I mean, if you're trying to get a spot underneath a manager whose husband serves on the United Way board... how sure are you that your lack of donation wouldn't play any part in her decision? Especially if you're up against someone who does donate generously? You might decide, "You know what, it's not worth the risk. I'll give to United Way instead."

Well, you're just in a smaller version of that. You plop down a donation box or a fundraising leaflet or a volunteerism time sheet - anything not work-related. Guess what? You've put a bit of a compulsion on anyone in a subordinate position to you. Because they're going to have to make the same sorts of guesses - how likely are you going to remember whether they decided not to buy anything? Are you likely to use that at all when deciding future assignments? Raises? Promotions? Don't dismiss this lightly - not only does it put them in a bit of a tough spot, but it feels bad, like they're being extorted out of something.

Kevin
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I wouldn't do it. In fact I would not sell the candy. Typically these boxes have 30 bars, and the school makes 50% of the proceeds form the bar. Simply write a check to the school for $15, or $30 if the kids are required to sell to boxes.

Often times the school will have a "sales meeting" to hype the kids up to sell items, offering incentive prizes to the kid who sells the most. Okay, whatever buy your kid the water bottle or whatever. So for less than $40 per kid, you don't deal with the hassle.

Pete B.
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  • This puts the onus on the kid to defend your political statement about the candy companies, though - and requires that the kid be the one to justify why they're "not participating" to teachers and peers. – Alex M Sep 25 '19 at 18:01
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    @AlexM Depending on the age of the kid, this is a learning experience for them. At the very least, they can say "My parent said no" and leave it at that. Or, if they are older, they can learn your reasoning to where they can explain it to others, if they desire. Learning to say "no" to inappropriate requests is important, and learning to say "no" to inappropriate marketing requests may equip the student for later in life when they encounter an MLM for the first time. – Wayne Conrad Sep 25 '19 at 18:44
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    Pay for all the candy leave it in the break room. That's who my boss does it – Andrey Sep 25 '19 at 19:42
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First, selling candy is stupid. As a fiduciary thing, it is total wheel-spinning, "rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic", digging holes and filling them back in, making work merely to make work. You are literally better off spending the same hours working at McDonalds going "do you want fries with that?" And giving your McDonalds paycheck to the charity. These gimmicks are not fiduciary, they are feelgood tricks designed to make people (supporters and the epsilon-minus executive director whose idea this is) feel like they are helping, and get a little (a little) publicity out for the charity.

However, if you must, then in most cases that I see of those, they are not left in a breakroom, they are actively "pushed" by a human doing sales as it were. So real simple: be selective about who you sales-job. Do not push anyone in your report chain. Your reports and bosses are off limits, as are anyone you need stuff from or who need stuff from you. Everyone else you deal with casually, fair game. Anyone in your needs chain who wants one of those candy bars will have to stick their nose in your cubicle and stick $3 in the slot.

Harper - Reinstate Monica
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    The fact that it's stupid and inefficient is irrelevant when it's successful. It actually works, and just asking for money doesn't work. Human beings are not logical. – barbecue Sep 26 '19 at 15:28
  • @barbecue Your "successful" bar is too low. It's not about "the project worked as designed". It's not even about gross dollars pried out of marks. It's about net dollars as ratioed against costs, time and political capital spent! It's like those people who labor to sell things on eBay or Amazon Marketplace, and when all the hours and costs are counted, they have paid themselves prison wages. What else could he have done with his time? – Harper - Reinstate Monica Sep 26 '19 at 23:27
  • You seem to think human beings are logical and rational. That's just not true. – barbecue Sep 27 '19 at 14:46
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Yes, it's appropriate to do that, as long as you make it fairly obvious that the candy is there for charity reasons and that the payment box is close by.

Don't be surprised if some of the candy disappears without payment being made. Generally though, it's accepted and people are fine not to participate if they don't want to.

People are (hopefully) going to be intelligent enough to separate charity from "I'm bribing you for a good review/performance".

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    I'm always up for the "check with HR" first, especially because there is no country tag. In some countries you can be in a very tight spot if you're buying and selling something in the workplace (even it is a fundraiser) – Juliana Karasawa Souza Sep 24 '19 at 09:18
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    I think this answer misses the point a bit. If you're a worker and your boss brings in a "Donate to XYZ" box, it's not an issue of charity-vs-bribe. It's an issue where you're being compelled to give away your cash or risk getting on the bad side of your boss. It puts the worker in the situation of thinking, "Well... what are the odds that the manager will be upset? That when it comes time for raises or promotions, this might be a tipping factor? How likely is that versus the financial amount I'm being asked to part with now?" – Kevin Sep 24 '19 at 15:41
  • Yeah, in an unequal relationship this is a quid-pro-quo conflict of interest: donate money and improve your standing with the boss; don't donate and harm your relationship. It's totally inappropriate unless the team lead can do so anonymously. – bob Sep 24 '19 at 18:32
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This depends entirely on company policy and how informal your company is.

As mentioned in another Answer, talk to HR first. There might be a reason(s) why you can't do this.

If you are allowed, consider your relationship with your co-workers and the people you manage. Here's a few examples of a decision tree to consider and expand on for yourself.

Yes if:

  • They understand their review has nothing to do with the candy.
  • You more of a friendly manager that has social relationships outside of work with them.
  • The location of the candy wouldn't matter, including it being on your desk.

Don't if:

  • They are afraid of disagreeing with you.
  • You often imply they need to do things.
  • The location matters at all, especially if it's on your desk.

I've worked at companies where people, including the bosses, brought all kinds of things for people to buy into for their kids. Everything from school trips to dance classes to scouts, such as popcorn, magazines, chocolates, frozen treats, fruit, baked goods, and more (all from brand name suppliers, not their own kitchens, if anyone was wondering).

I've also worked where it was strictly forbidden for anyone to bring in products for others to buy. I've also heard of companies where food was prohibited from desks, even water bottles, so chocolate bars for sale wouldn't work their either, presumably even in the break room.

computercarguy
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Our office handled a similar case in a way I haven't seen mentioned yet. The director of engineering -- the direct or indirect manager of everybody else in our office, but still a team member and not a high-level executive -- brought in an order form for Girl Scout cookies for one of his children, with the following message: I'm going to buy some of these for the office so please vote on types, and if anybody wants to order some for yourself, fill out the form. By doing this he led with his wallet (so to speak), did something for the team, gave everyone a chance for input without spending money, and gave everyone a chance to place additional orders. He bought a generous number of boxes for the team, and people still bought a lot privately. (It looked like it was about 50-50 in the end.)

If your kid's candy bars come in different varieties, you could do something similar. Before you bring anything in, tell your team that you'll be getting some fundraiser candy for the group, they get to pick the types, and if anybody wants to order additional candy, they can do so. Then bring it in, make sure people know where the "public" candy is, and set up a separate box for purchases.

Monica Cellio
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  • I suppose this works if the person is very high up, but people might feel a little obliged to do the same if it's a team leader doing it? – Gregory Currie Sep 26 '19 at 02:59
  • @GregoryCurrie the question seems to be about the power dynamic between a team lead and subordinates. Isn't that the same dynamic as our director and his subordinates? (I guess I should have clarified that the director is still technical and very much part of the team; this isn't somebody who rarely interacts with the rest of us or something like that.) – Monica Cellio Sep 26 '19 at 03:06
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    Ahh ok. For me the director is quite high up (almost C-level). If they can (afford) to do something like this, there isn't an expectation "rank-and-file" employees do the same. – Gregory Currie Sep 26 '19 at 03:19
  • @GregoryCurrie thanks; I made an edit to try to clarify. – Monica Cellio Sep 26 '19 at 03:20
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I think it kind of depends on what it's for. If it directly impacts your kids or their school, like money for the new gym or a school trip, it might be a little inappropriate.

If your kids' class is raising money to donate to some other charity, like they plan to donate to Habitat for Humanity or they're going to have a garbage clean-up in a city park, that seems more appropriate because it's not just for your own kids. People are donating more for the charity, not directly to your kids. In that case, I'd let people know because it's a good cause that you happen to be associated with.

user70848
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    Provided that the recipient of the fundraising is clear, why is it inappropriate? – Gregory Currie Sep 24 '19 at 01:48
  • I don’t understand this question. – user70848 Sep 24 '19 at 12:48
  • You claim that money to benefit a school is inappropriate. Are you able to clarify why? – Gregory Currie Sep 24 '19 at 13:42
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    I dunno - I think it'd still be inappropriate even if it was Habitat for Humanity. You're basically putting your subordinates in a position of judging whether it's worth it to just give the money instead of possibly putting them on the bad side of their superior. Because there's definitely the possibility that they don't want to give to charity, but would be afraid to say no in case that decision will negatively impact them in reviews/raises/etc. – Kevin Sep 24 '19 at 15:43
  • @GregoryCurrie I already did. Donating to his own kids’ school is a direct benefit to him and his family. – user70848 Sep 24 '19 at 19:47
  • @Kevin Yeah, the relationship between asked and giver is still true, but the purpose might help justify it. – user70848 Sep 24 '19 at 19:49
  • @user70848 It's clearly not a direct benefit as the money goes to the school. So it goes to the education of (probably) hundreds of children. Provided that people understand who is the beneficiary I don't see how it's inappropriate. – Gregory Currie Sep 24 '19 at 23:25
  • @GregoryCurrie The question of appropriateness is the premise of the question. Comment on the question itself if you disagree with premise. – user70848 Sep 25 '19 at 02:07
  • You don't answer if it's in appropriate for a team leader. You are answering in general terms about any employee fundraising for their children's school. I like XY answers, but only if there is justification behind them. – Gregory Currie Sep 25 '19 at 02:13
  • @GregoryCurrie Again, if you have a problem with the premise, "As a team leader is it appropriate to bring in fundraiser candy?", leave a comment on the question. – user70848 Sep 25 '19 at 02:23
  • @GregoryCurrie Thanks for sharing your opinion. – user70848 Sep 25 '19 at 03:17
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Others have mentioned how you could leave it in the break room, but I'd bet you won't receive any donations with that set up. If there are other team leaders or your superiors who you are familiar with, you could consider approaching them for donations, as they are not managed by you. This way you can keep the personal nature of asking for donations, while avoiding the issue of putting your team in an unfair situation.

Alistair Carscadden
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Go discussing it with your HR. Be true and be open.

In our site there is a desk with seedlings, small box with with a hole and a paper how much each seedling is worth. Anyone can pick them and can pay for them. Someone waters them daily, grow them from seeds, bring new ones and collect money for buying new seeds. One need to stay there to see who is that someone.

Is it possible for you to bring the candies in the kitchen anonymously? Place there the box, written note with the price and who is it for (charity, school). Then collect the money in and give your kid the money.

Don't look who is picking the candy, don't look who is actually paying, don't be seen either arranging either collecting. Buy the candies as anyone else, like Joe Theaverage brought it there.

If someone traces you back with question "So it was YOU who brought it here", the appropriate answer is: "So what?" Don't overthink it.

If you are worried about the timing, you can give your kid the money now and bring the candies to the office after you submitted the reviews.

Crowley
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