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I got a job offer few weeks back from a new employer, with better money and a more senior role - but with a much worse commute. Initially, I accepted it and handed in my resignation to my current employer. By now, everybody in the office knows I'm about to leave.

To complicate things, my current employer has come to me with a counter offer which addresses most of my issues with them. I am considering accepting the counter-offer but am worried that it would be awkward, since everyone here knows I was (supposedly) leaving. If I decide to stay, how can I manage my relationships with coworkers who knew I nearly left?

Also, are there any ways this could sour my relationship with my current employer (ie with the HR department)?

dwizum
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Jezz
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    Do whats best for you and your family, not whats best for peoples opinions. – solarflare Jun 20 '18 at 00:32
  • Depends on the individual, but people will probably get over it eventually. – Bernhard Barker Jun 20 '18 at 00:36
  • As the other job if they will make a counter offer. –  Jun 20 '18 at 01:38
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    How did everyone find out you are leaving? I think the answer would differ based on whether management told them or you told them. – Masked Man Jun 20 '18 at 02:01
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    https://workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/76808/i-accepted-a-counter-offer-and-regret-it-can-i-go-back-and-contact-the-previous – Neo Jun 20 '18 at 02:06
  • @MaskedMan: I told the few closest people, the rest joined the dots when I started having one on ones with the big boss. So when they started openly ask me I just told the truth. – Jezz Jun 20 '18 at 20:12

2 Answers2

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How awkward do you think it's going to be to decide to stay

No reason for it to be awkward at all unless you let it. It's a business decision.

Kilisi
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Answer 1

It is going to be awkward because what your managers will think of you. They are going to assume that you will leave for more money. They are offering you more money and other concessions so that you will leave at a time of their choosing. Expect them to treat you as a short timer. That means little or no raises or bonuses. That means not giving you responsibility or important projects because they don’t know you will be around. They may even plan to replace you sometime after they can make sure it will have little impact on the company. That way they send a signal to the other employees that you can’t get what you want by threatening to quit.

Answer 2

It is going to be awkward because your co-workers see your example. Your management may not react as in Answer 1. They may realize that they have not treated you well. The counter offer may be a genuine effort to make amends. You co-workers will compare themselves to you and conclude that they are being under-paid and under-appreciated. They will point to you and say they want raises and promotions. Your managers will realize that they have a problem deciding who should get favourable treatment like you did. These managers will grow to resent that you started this movement withing the company. Now, go to Answer 1.

Ben Mz
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    It's a fair point, although this probably doesn't classify as the usual 'gimme more money' even though it did end up with mostly money on the table. – Jezz Jun 20 '18 at 20:15
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    Basically, the company has been dicking people around for 6 months saying 'tough times are coming, we might fire some folks'. This was intentional on their part to get the dead wood out. Instead it backfired and they started losing their top guys (plus me). So now they're panicking. There was little wrong with the job itself apart the dicking around bit. – Jezz Jun 20 '18 at 20:26