A 10m ICBM at 1000km altitude is like spotting a 1mm object at 100 meters or a pigeon at 50km away.
When it is about to do re-entry, you can reduce that task to spotting a baby mosquito that appears at 8 meters for half a second away and a pigeon at 4km away.
Otherwise, it depends on the time of day if you have a telescope and want the sun to reflect from the ICBM because they are rapidly in the earth's shadow. ICBM's can fly at 2x the altitude of Starlink ( 1000 vs 550 km)so they can stay out of the shadow for longer.
Starlink is 24m2 and visible on the horizon at dawn and dusk. Starlinks are more reflective than ICBM's.
Many ICBM's are painted in dark colors, camouflage, military colors and even black. For most of the journey ICBM's cost at high altitude, outside of the atmosphere, in the shadow of the earth, or invisible at 1000km in the daytime sky. ICBMs switch off their engines during the midcourse, or coasting, phase of their trajectory.
The re-entry phase will be the brightest, due to intense heat from atmospheric friction, a few percent as bright as spaceshuttle on re-entry. a bit like this except it would not slow down as much, staying close to 25000km/h

ICBMs use liquid propellant that produces an efficient blue flame of far lower luminosity than what we think of as a flame, as you can see by the contrast between the oxygen-alcohol fire here and it's reaction with a lower temperature yellow combustion:
curiously the asteroid that killed the dino's could have been visible for weeks if it had a trail of 20-30 miles due to solar reactions. It would have taken 5-8 seconds to go through the atmosphere.