How to read in bed without upsetting my wife?

Question

Before I fall asleep, I like to get into my bed and do some reading. My wife however likes to fall asleep as soon as she is in bed. I have a small lamp on my side which I use but it scatters too much light into the room and bothers her and she can't fall asleep. Any life-hacks which will bring us closer to marital bliss?

Note: The lamp does have a shade on it along with a flexible neck so you can twist and direct bright light in any direction. I keep it facing directly down to minimize the scattering light but apparently, its still not enough.

I was going to suggest you could learn Braille and just read in the dark, but that's probably impractical. ;-) — BrettFromLA, Sep 02 '15 at 17:28

score 15 · Answer 1 · answered Aug 26 '15 at 09:17

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Use E-book.

While costly, this is by far the simplest solution. E-book media can generate enough light for you to read, but be dim enough for your wife to not be disturbed. This also allows you to control where light goes(you can turn screen back from her), as well as read book without generating too much noise(touch screen is silent, paper isn't).

answered Aug 26 '15 at 09:17

MatthewRock

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This indeed will work for someone, +1. However personally I can't stand e-books, expecially in the dark and expecially before going to sleep: they inevitabily make my eyes hurt after a bit because of the strong backlight, while they're barely readable (at least for me) with a low backlight because of the low contrast. Also any type of screen (TV, computer, smartphone, e-reader) will usually awaken you rather than inducing sleepiness. http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/power-down-better-sleep – kos Aug 27 '15 at 10:29
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Depends on your organism, you might not get that awaken. However, there are many different programs that allow you to counter this effect. I strongly believe that you would find some for your tablet as well, if you used that instead of E-reader. Edit: quick search showed this application which could help. – MatthewRock Aug 27 '15 at 10:39
Ah I wasn't aware of these. I'll surely give them a shot. Thanks for the input – kos Aug 27 '15 at 10:52
Glad to help :) – MatthewRock Aug 27 '15 at 10:54
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Some E-Readers (eg Kindle Paperwhite) do NOT have a "backlight" - they are lit from the front, and do not strain the eyes in the same way as trying to read on a tablet for example. The light reflects off the "page" in the same way as on a book. I can't read my tablet for long at night without eye strain, but I can use my Kindle for hours at a time without issue. – Jon Story Sep 02 '15 at 13:19
Using a back-lit eBook (or smartphone as suggested by Lewis James) and read in the dark is really bad for your eyes. They would get tired after a few minutes and your sight could be affected in the long term. For the same reason they suggest not to watch TV in complete darkness. – algiogia Sep 09 '15 at 11:10
@algiogia read comments to see suggestions how to deal with it. – MatthewRock Sep 09 '15 at 11:49
@MatthewRock your suggestions solve the problem of the light keeping you awake, not the fact that you are reading in darkness. The eyes would still be affected. – algiogia Sep 09 '15 at 12:24
@algiogia I'd like to refer to this question and this question. They suggest that your eyes might be tired, but not harmed - and the same applies to reading in bright room, or driving. I'd like you to provide some backup for your argument about reading being bad for your eyes. – MatthewRock Sep 09 '15 at 12:38
@MatthewRock I'm afraid I don't have any, except for personal experience and the word of my doctor (who was quite renown in Italy). When I complained about my eyesight getting worse he blamed it on my job (software developer). According to him, if I had made a different job (e.g. farmer) my eyes would be fine. But continuous stress weakens the eyes as any other organ. In any case, having the eyes burning after a few minutes is not a pleasant way to read. – algiogia Sep 09 '15 at 13:03
I'm afraid that I can't accept this as an evidence - although my theory is not really backed up too, the same as yours, if you say something is unhealthy, you should be the one to provide the evidence. I'm afraid there hasn't been any scientific research(or I can't find any atm). I respect renown people, but they are as likely to be mistaken as anybody else. My personal experience is that it doesn't affect sight(since I'm also software developer and my sight is really good); but it's 1 vs 7 billion - so it's not really showing anything. However, if your eyes hurt - there are non-backlit things – MatthewRock Sep 09 '15 at 13:09

score 11 · Answer 2 · edited Sep 08 '15 at 13:47

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I have stumbled upon this issue myself. I think a book light will suite your purposes. It's a small LED lamp that you clip onto your book and in most cases can be adjusted so that it points to the pages of the book without lighting up the whole room.

edited Sep 08 '15 at 13:47

Alex

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answered Aug 26 '15 at 10:30

Michael

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score 5 · Answer 3 · edited Sep 08 '15 at 13:48

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Use a headlamp.

Many headlamps come with dim light and red light settings, which you can use to make the light less bothersome for your wife.

[Note: I am not recommending this specific product, just using this one as an example.]

edited Sep 08 '15 at 13:48

Alex

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answered Aug 28 '15 at 12:48

Gwen

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I imagine the angle might not be right for reading in bed. While some headlamps can tilt, the OP could also DIY the torch angle by taping a white piece of cardboard on top of the lens to throw more light downward. – piojo Aug 31 '15 at 08:51

score 3 · Answer 4 · answered Aug 26 '15 at 17:52

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If you plan to read for 30 minutes, get in bed 30 minutes before your wife. When she gets into bed with you, turn out your light, and both of you can fall asleep together at the same time.

answered Aug 26 '15 at 17:52

BrettFromLA

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I don't see how this is a solution. You may as well tell him to read in the living room, or just read it another time... – MatthewRock Aug 27 '15 at 07:46
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... or find a less-complaining wife :-) – Laurent S. Aug 27 '15 at 11:51
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@MatthewRock "Before I fall asleep, I like to get into my bed and do some reading. My wife however likes to fall asleep as soon as she is in bed." The OP has 2 requirements: read IN BED, and read RIGHT BEFORE HE FALLS ASLEEP. The OP didn't say he likes to read in bed WHILE his wife is there. Saying he could read in the living room doesn't fit his requirement of reading in bed. Saying he could read another time doesn't fit his requirements of reading before he falls asleep. My answer addresses both of those. – BrettFromLA Aug 27 '15 at 17:43
Well, I think if that would be the case then OP would simply do it; also, this is hardly a lifehack. Whatever; this site is not created for people to discuss who's right. Let the people decide which answer is most useful to them :) – MatthewRock Aug 27 '15 at 19:21
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I just know people get stuck in preconceived notions, like "I have to get into bed the same time as my wife". That was the motivation for my answer: to reexamine that notion. I guess you and I just have different ideas of what constitutes a life hack! Like you said, we'll just let the other forum members decide. – BrettFromLA Aug 27 '15 at 19:47
He's asking for life hacks to help him read while in bed with his wife without disturbing her, not how to change his lifestyle... – Jon Story Sep 02 '15 at 13:23
@JonStory In his question, the OP doesn't say "while in bed with his wife". Readers seem to be inferring it, and the OP may have meant to imply it. But I'm just thinking that if 100 men asked this same question, at least a few of them would like my answer. And without knowing which group the OP fits in, I thought I'd offer this solution. – BrettFromLA Sep 02 '15 at 17:28

score 2 · Answer 5 · answered Sep 30 '17 at 04:07

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The SleepCurtain was designed to solve this exact problem: it enables a partner to read an electronic device (or book) while blocking the light from interfering with the sleep of their partner, and goes back in storage with a simple movement without leaving your bed.

The product is simple, easy to assemble and set-up, and highly effective.

Check mySleepCurtain.com for more information and ordering info

answered Sep 30 '17 at 04:07

TheSleepCurtain.com

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A great idea that addresses the problem. + Affiliation of the poster is sufficiently clear. + Even a low skilled DIYer can make something like that him/herself. Definitely +1

Flint

Sep 30 '17 at 15:31

Thanks for liking my idea. I am less happy about you thinking it is OK to steal it. – TheSleepCurtain.com Oct 02 '17 at 08:30

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My take on these situations is: it's ok to 'get inspired' by a product when you make something for yourself. Stealing would be, starting to manufacture a product based on your design/patent application and selling it. That is not ok and I do not endorse it. Arrrgh, now I completely ruined the flair of my username ;) – Flint Oct 03 '17 at 10:14

jCisco · Answer 6 · 2015-09-03T09:17:40.840

If you utilize a reduced output lamp and that still isn't suitable to your wife then apply a yellow filter on your lamp. Ideally you want to eliminate any and all stray white light.

Alternatively rather than constructing a filter purchase a yellow output LED. Just ensure that the output is in and only in the yellow range.

This should significantly lower any irritance your wife maybe experiencing while you read. Additionally it shouldn't cause her to wake up fully in the event she does for whatever reason open her eyes for a fraction of a second, even longer.

Our brains do not perceive such light as an indication of daytime or the need to change our waking state.

score 2 · Answer 7 · answered Sep 08 '15 at 19:20

The e-book reader is already mentioned, as are the mini head/clip-on lamps.

But I don't think anyone's suggested reading on your smartphone if you have one. There are plenty of ebook reading apps you can get on your phone; some even have the option of having white text on a black background.

One thing to note if you use your phone is that phones emit high frequency light that keeps your brain active for up to 30 minutes after you stop looking at the screen. There are other apps you can install on your phone so that it adjusts your screen to stop emitting these lights towards the end of the day (I have it just for normal phone use even when I'm not reading).

Bonus lifehack: if you don't have a smartphone, get one that uses LED technology in its screen rather than an LCD. LED's turn off their light source to display the color black whereas LCD's cover their light source with all subpixels to display black. If you want a truer black color that's least abrasive, choose an LED/OLED technology screen smart phone. :)

score 2 · Answer 8 · answered Sep 09 '15 at 10:23

As an alternative to the above suggestions, which seem to focus mainly on reducing the amount of light being cast into the room, have you considered trying any of the following;

Try an audio book. Many novels are available in an audio format and if you get some decent in-ear headphones, there should be no noise in the room.

Try reading downstairs before you come to bed, provided that you are able to get into bed without waking your wife.

Learn braille, a braille book can be read in total darkness.

Get a divorce, removing the wife from the equation would be one solution.

Okay, some of my suggestions are a little tongue in cheek, although they would all be effective. Definitely consider trying an audio book.

Bruno · Answer 9 · 2015-09-01T06:52:20.153

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You could also use something like this:

edited Sep 01 '15 at 06:52

answered Aug 28 '15 at 14:09

Bruno

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Welcome to Lifehacks SE! In general we don't want to recommend products, but rather refer to product categories if that is appropriate for the question. – holroy Aug 28 '15 at 14:17

score 1 · Answer 10 · answered Sep 08 '15 at 19:56

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The problem is that the light distracts your wife. Rather than getting a dimmer light, she could wear a sleep mask (if it was comfortable enough).

answered Sep 08 '15 at 19:56

BrettFromLA

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Why oh why did nobody else come up with this. – Sebastian Zeki Oct 03 '17 at 21:36

How to read in bed without upsetting my wife?

10 Answers10

Use E-book.

Use a headlamp.