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Someone asks me "Can you come to the game on Saturday?" I replied yes but thinking they are asking me a question and not actually tell me to come. The asker assumed that I would come and got annoyed when I didn't show up. Who is at fault?

Lightsout
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  • This feels more like a language/semantics question. – apaul Dec 23 '17 at 04:28
  • I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because we are not here to arbitrate fault. If you want assistance preventing this in the future or explaining what happened, please edit your question to address that but as is, this is off topic here. – Catija Dec 24 '17 at 17:50

2 Answers2

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At fault? You are. They asked you if you could (read: would) go to the game, and you answered, "Yes."

Life and language aren't logic puzzles. Language isn't math.

It reminds me of a wonderfully funny scene in a Pink Panther movie. Inspector Clouseau sees a man and a cute little dog standing by his side. He is attracted to the dog, and asks the man, "Does your dog bite?" The man answers, "No."

Inspector Clouseau reaches down to pet the dog, who reacts viciously, biting him in the process.

Hurt, Clouseau says to the man, "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite."

"He doesn't," answers the man. "That's not my dog."

It's hilarious because no one expects the man to interpret the question "Does your dog bite?" so literally.

So, that's how language works. "Can you come to my birthday party?" does not mean, "Are you physically able to transport yourself places, for example, to the place where my birthday party is being held?"

"Can you come to my birthday party?" is an invitation, as is "Can you come to the game on Saturday?"

anongoodnurse
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It seems that you are at fault. If someone asks you "can you come to ___?", that typically means "can you come to ____ with me?". If the person had instead asked, "were you planning on going to the game?" then that question is a bit more ambiguous, since it is implying that you could be intending to attend the game with someone else. It never hurts to ask for clarification (for example, "do you want to go together?") if you're unsure. Hope that helps!

Rachel
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