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I am having superficial dental work done that's not related to any health issues. There are two doctors at the practice I go to:

1) dr. who I've had more interaction with during my various visits to the practice, and

2) dr. who got assigned (because of my availability) to my case over a year or so ago when I first went started visiting this practice. I've seen dr. 2 less on any occasion (or not at all), and the times I've had any interaction with this dr. it has been uncomfortable- I was never put at ease or assured about any concerns.

Naturally, I prefer if dr. 1 would take over my case because I want the dr. who works on something that's going to be the front focus of my face for a long time to put me at ease and be able to have a good conversation with me without me feeling like a burden or uncomfortable.

I am an awkward person with little grace, and I didn't handle this transition smoothly. I got the sense from the receptionist that they didn't want to transfer me to dr. 1. I literally had to say that I would feel more comfortable being with a dr. who I've had more interactions with and who puts me at ease about the procedure. In the end, the receptionist agreed and I've got an appt. with dr. 1. Was it okay to be so direct about this request?

I understand the hesitation to transfer me- dr. 2 has been on my case for more than a year (though I've seen dr. 2 less, but the time span is long because I stopped going to the practice for a long time).

And there's probably an inter-colleague courtesy thing where these drs. don't poach each other's patients. Should I care about this, though? I just want the best treatment for my long term aesthetics.

Should I feel guilty or awkward for dropping dr. 2? What would have been a better way to do this?

The reason why I am asking this here is because I think my lack of social graces rendered me incapable of navigating this situation smoothly, and not making it awkward for everyone. I honestly don't believe it should be awkward because I just want to choose who I think is the better dr.

user343323232
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1 Answers1

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Was it okay to be so direct about this request?

Yes, being frank and direct is the most accurate way to communicate with other people. If you are not direct, people are more likely to misunderstand what you want.
You also did a very good job of phrasing your request as a positive. ie. I like dr. 1 because he does this well.

Should I feel guilty or awkward for dropping dr. 2?

No you should not feel guilty. Your health is your responsibility and if you believe that doctor 1 will be a better doctor then absolutely you should insist on seeing him (provided of course that he will also accept you as a patient).

What would have been a better way to do this?

It sounds to me like you handled this as well as it can be handled. In order to have as good a life as possible we need to learn a balance between thinking about others, and standing up for ourselves. From what you've told us it sounds like you are doing ok at keeping them in balance.

Should I care about this[dr. 2's feelings], though?

Of course you should, but just because you care doesn't mean you have to let him treat you. BTW caring about others is good because it encourages us to be polite when letting someone know that we need a different person's services.

Food for thought: I suspect (like you) that the reason the office didn't want you to switch doctors is because dr. 1 is already in high demand and dr. 2 is not. This means that your probably not the only one who prefers dr1.

Congrats on standing up for yourself!

Dan Anderson
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