First, I'll echo what others are saying about getting fitted at a bike shop. It really will help you find the best fit for you. They see hundreds of people every year in every shape and size and have a great understanding of the tradeoffs between different gemoetries and body types.
Also, as far as your concern about dealing with sales people goes, I totally get it. Sales people can be pretty annoying. That said, I've never been to a bike shop with a high pressure sales person. They're typically cycling enthusiasts first and bike shop employees second. They usually just want to help you get on a bike and ride, even if you get it somewhere else.
Frame Sizes
The way bike companies size their frames is confusing, inconsistent, and oftentimes doesn't mean much of anything in the real world. I personally wouldn't look at them much, if at all. (The one exception is that if you're comparing bikes across the same style and brand. I.e., comparing one Trek road bike to another Trek road bike.)
Standover Height
If you're looking to either do some research before heading to a shop or you're committed to skipping the shop, the best measurement to start with is your standover height. Basically, you measure from the floor to up into your crotch. Stand against a wall and put the spine of a book between your legs. Measure from where the spine touches the wall to the floor. The measurement will likely be a little longer than your inseam, depending on how tight you like your pants.
You'll want to find a bike with a lower standover height than your standover height, one inch for straight top tubes, two inches for sloping top tubes. This gives you some clearance if you have to stop suddenly and put your feet down. You can find the standover height of pretty much any given bike on the manufacturer's website.
If you can't find the standover height and you have access to the bike, just stand over it and pick it up off the ground. The wheels should come up 1-2 inches.
Everything Else
From that point on, everything else is tweakable. You can raise or lower the seatpost and/or stem. You can get a longer or shorter stem. You can move the seat forward and back on the seatpost. You can get a different seatpost with more or less layback. You can swap the handlebars for wider, narrow, or more or less reach. You can swap out the cranks for shorter or longer crank arms. What specifically you'll want to change will really depend on your riding style your body type.
It'll probably take a little experimentation too. Try the things that you can do without buying new parts first, messing with the seat and seatpost for example.
Your Body Type
It sounds like your legs may be a bit short relative to your overall height. This will probably present some interesting challenges in getting the right size frame. You may need to tweak just about everything you can tweak and/or get a bike that is technically a bit too big for your standover height. Going too large on standover presents obvious hazards if you stop suddenly. Tweaking things too far in one direction or another can present ergonomic problems leading to repetitive stress injuries.
I really can't stress enough how much you would benefit from going to a bike shop and getting someone experienced in fitting bikes to help you with sizing. They'll know how to make those tradeoffs in the best possible way.