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So, it’s my understanding that in Japan it’s considered to be polite to say “itadakimasu” before eating. From what I’ve read, it seems that the meaning of this phrase derives from Buddhist and Shinto religious concepts, however, which gives rise to this question: how would the typical Japanese person respond to a foreigner (who might be a Christian, Muslim, or a member of some similar monotheistic faith) who refused to say it (as politely as possible) and cited religious reasons to do so?

hippietrail
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nick012000
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    What will be the circumstances? As a tourist in Japan I never even learned the word. If staying with a family they will likely know your religious stance. – Willeke Jun 13 '19 at 08:05
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    Also, IMO, even if a word has a religious root, that doesn't mean it's only used because of that reason in these times. From what i have seen and watched about Japanese eating culture, saying Itadakimasu simply shows thankfulness and respect to the people who prepared the food and the fact that you have food. That can be done regardless of one's religion. – dunni Jun 13 '19 at 08:14
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    Is it really a problem for you? We uses a lot of pagan words, which with time they lost the original meaning. Are you sure it is used with a very religious meaning, and not just a polite traditional say? In any case, you may use English polite world. Polite and respect is both way. – Giacomo Catenazzi Jun 13 '19 at 08:14
  • @Willeke I’m just asking out of general curiosity. I don’t have any particular scenario in mind - if the answer would vary depending on context, feel free to include that variation in your Answer. – nick012000 Jun 13 '19 at 08:25
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    In English 'good day', 'good night', etc. represent an abbreviation of the now obsolete 'God give you a good ___'. – Richard Beasley Jun 13 '19 at 12:48
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    In Germany they sey Mahlzeit which is short for Gesegnete Mahlzeit what means Have a blessed meal – Bernhard Döbler Jun 13 '19 at 16:09
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    @RichardBeasley do you have a source for that? There are plenty of religion-free phrases that could have been the origin of "good day": I wish you a good day; may you have a good day; let it be a good day; etc. – phoog Jun 13 '19 at 16:32
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    @phoog I don't know about "good day", but "good bye" is derived from for "God be with ye". – Monty Harder Jun 13 '19 at 18:15
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    Is there any religion that prevents you saying something that might be connected with another person's religion anyway? Perhaps personal belief rather than religion? – David Jun 13 '19 at 19:15
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    After 4 years living in Japan, I've found that that not even all Japanese people say it (see jpatokal's answer). – ProgrammingLlama Jun 14 '19 at 02:32
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    It will absolutely go unnoticed. There are other formal niceties they might expect you to say, while still not being surprised in the slightest if you don't say them, because, you know, what to expect from a hennagaijin. But unless you make some effort to turn it into a big deal (for example, by stressing that you are not saying it specifically because of how christian/muslim you are), they won't even notice the absence of "itadakimasu". – Headcrab Jun 14 '19 at 06:41
  • To add to what @dunni wrote, it's largely a cultural expression now. For instance, many Japanese Christians say "itadakimasu" (with or without "prayer hands") after saying grace. – Kimball Jun 14 '19 at 08:14
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    The parallel mentioned by @Monty is really the most crucial thing here. Itadakimasu may have originated as a religious phrasing, but it isn’t anymore, and refusing to say it for religious reasons would be quite bizarre. Imagine a Buddhist or an atheist refusing to say goodbye for religious reasons – how would English speakers react to that? I would wager by far the most common reaction would be puzzlement, closely followed by a feeling that the person in question is being absurdly nitpicky; but most importantly, it would be unpredictable. Each person would react their own way. – Janus Bahs Jacquet Jun 14 '19 at 14:21
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    @ phoog There is a reference here: https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/good+afternoon – Richard Beasley Jun 14 '19 at 18:18
  • Do you think non-Christians shouldn’t say ‘bless you’ when someone sneezes? – Sebastiaan van den Broek Jun 15 '19 at 05:45
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    @Richard That’s half the story at best. Expressions like good day/afternoon/night are general elliptical wishes for the recipient to have a good day – which may or may not include a deity granting them that good day. They aren’t abbreviations of any phrasing with a deity as such. The earliest attested forms in the OED, as well as parallel constructions elsewhere, sometimes have a deity, sometimes not – in those days, God was often introduced into just about anything, after all. The OED specifies: “Originally in have good day, God give you good day and variants”. – Janus Bahs Jacquet Jun 15 '19 at 07:27
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    It would hardly be noticeable. Many Japanese people don't say it, or choose to say it or not depending on whether they feel like it that day. In any case, don't take a huge issue on it. – xuq01 Jun 15 '19 at 11:04
  • Also, I'm fairly sure that Japanese Christians say "itadakimasu" too... – xuq01 Jun 17 '19 at 00:13
  • In Russian, "thank you" is "spasibo" which is derived from "Spasi Bog", meaning "may the God save you". – Mihail Feb 03 '23 at 06:52
  • I (a Christian) say "itadakimasu" because I humbly receive the food from God. – Francis Davey Feb 28 '24 at 03:50

8 Answers8

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Outside of a temple, or perhaps dinner with the Emperor, "itadakimasu" has zero religious connotations. A reasonable translation would be "thanks for the food" said to no one in particular. The after-dinner phrase is "gochisosama".

No one in Japan will expect you to know the details, so you can just sit quietly and let the moment pass. Display expert use of chopsticks and your dinner companions will not notice your silence.

However, flat-out refusing to conform to local customs after you have been informed of them, for any reason, won't win you any friends. Japan is the land of "do it this way and like it" all wrapped up in a pleasant and polite package. They will call you a rude-ass foreigner after you leave.

Source: 20 years living in Tokyo.

peter
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    Don't they usually keep their feelings to themselves though? As in, even if something is displeasing them, they still put respect on top of everything. – Clockwork Jun 13 '19 at 17:21
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    @Clockwork that's probably the reason for the "after you leave" part^^ – Frank Hopkins Jun 13 '19 at 17:30
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    I think the last paragraph is rather harsh. In my experience, Japanese expectations are often different for foreigners than for Japanese. If you're polite in your own way there shouldn't be an issue. – Kimball Jun 14 '19 at 08:11
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    @Kimball Saying "I understand that you'll probably expect me to say 'please' and 'thank you', but I refuse" wouldn't really fall under "polite in your own way", however displaying gratitude and politeness even without such words would. There's no need to call this out, and doing so would almost certainly be less polite than simply not doing them. – wizzwizz4 Jun 14 '19 at 16:05
  • Just plain absurd. Besides whether “Itadakimasu” has such a connotation or not, how come avoiding some expressions for a personal reason but being polite in a different manner be “rude-ass?” It should be understandable. Did the OP say “No, cut the crap, I won’t.” or what? He said “as politely as possible.” If saying “Thanks” instead of “Itadakimasu” makes me any rude-ass and won’t win me any friends, I would rather be happy not to have such priggish and pedantic friends. Know what’s understandable and what’s rude. – Константин Ван Jun 16 '19 at 01:44
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    @КонстантинВан Like those of all nations, Japanese culture is unique. What you find rude, they may find completely normal. Likewise what you don't think twice about could be a major faux pas there. Not conforming to their culture when you are in their land is rude to them. Even if you refuse to conform and polite in explaining yourself, you can still be rude. – forest Jun 16 '19 at 02:45
  • @forest Cultural differences exist, that’s right, I understand. But for this one; is this really a cultural matter? I doubt it. I say this because I know what exactly “いただきます” mean, as much as natives do. Is it that a big deal to say the exact words? He never once said he would not thank others for providing meals. We clearly have alternative ways to appreciate the meal, and I believe that’s what matters in the social graces. In which culture do you become a complete asshole for not saying the exact phrase to show respect to others, may I ask? – Константин Ван Jun 16 '19 at 04:27
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    @КонстантинВан It's not about not saying it, but about refusing to say it. If you don't say anything, no one is going to bat an eye. They'll assume you, as a foreigner, don't understand their customs. If they know that you are aware and you explicitly tell them that you refuse, that is when you are disrespecting their culture. We can argue about whether or not it should be something the Japanese would take offense to, but you can't really argue that they won't take offense to a concrete refusal to follow even the most basic customs. – forest Jun 16 '19 at 04:30
  • @forest I’m sorry but I think I’m not convinced yet. Would you get offended if I insist on “Bonjour” for a greeting, saying “Sorry, I personally don't like to greet people with ‘hello’ because it has the word ’hell’ in it.”? That’s how all this いただきます thing sounds to me. The idea of avoiding “hello” sounds silly, but has nothing to offend someone. It might not be a customary way to greet; does that mean I’m against the entire culture, showing disrespect, and being rude? Likewise: he could refuse one and say another instead. It's not a big deal, at least for this one. Don’t you think so? – Константин Ван Jun 16 '19 at 05:38
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    @КонстантинВан Well, I'm not from a culture where that would be rude. – forest Jun 16 '19 at 06:06
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    @КонстантинВан you write the language, but you either don't live in Japan or you are one of those 外人 that try to exist in a (presumably Russian) bubble. I get grief from Wifey-san for this and other very minor digressions from the expected, and I hear what she and others say about assorted foreigners after they leave. The exact words are a big deal, although butchering the pronunciation is accepted. For a while. – peter Jun 16 '19 at 13:37
  • @peter Admitting I myself am not a Japanese, please, let me ask one thing to better understand your culture. Do the Japanese in the Japanese culture, including you and your wife (or girlfriend), really think grateful words lose their very meaning in expressing gratitude when they don’t go by the book, that is to be rude, even to grieve over? – Константин Ван Jun 16 '19 at 20:34
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    @КонстантинВан New visitors who don't know the local customs, no. Once you know about the local versions and refuse to use them, yes. Mixing the two is generally fine as long as it doesn't conflict. So a German could use both かんぱい and Prost! and no one will care. "I will NOT say kanpai!!" and you've gone to your last drinking party. Lets try this version: "In Japan, we do not wear shoes indoors" => "In my country, we always wear shoes indoors, so I refuse to take my shoes off". Not really any different than the original question. When in Rome..... – peter Jun 17 '19 at 01:32
  • @peter First, again, “No, I will NOT say it!” is not the only way to convey personal avoidance of a specific expression. You find it rude because it is said a disrespectful way. Know the difference and STOP exaggerating it in your mind. I understand you’re proud of your culture, but you’re reading too much into his statement. The OP never once said he would abruptly deny the use of it. – Константин Ван Jun 17 '19 at 02:15
  • @peter Second, the example situation you gave is where you only have two extreme options contradict each other: either this or that. Insisting on the one socially disfavored could be a disrespect. But that’s when you don't have alternatives. Do you seriously think politely avoiding “いただきます” in favor of “Thanks for the delicious food” is not any different than your example? Do not make a fallacy. – Константин Ван Jun 17 '19 at 02:15
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    @КонстантинВан it's pretty obvious you are debating the point just to prove yourself right and everyone else wrong. As I have far, far better things to do with my time I'm going to dump you here. – peter Jun 17 '19 at 12:13
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    @peter Hopefully you’ll see who’s talking nonsense. Being oversensitive only makes you a paranoiac pedant in a weird sanctimonious mindset. You justify it saying it’s a cultural thing, when it has nothing to do with a culture, but common sense. – Константин Ван Jun 17 '19 at 15:50
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    @КонстантинВан What you call "common sense" differs based on culture. You are proclaiming the culture you are familiar with as the only sensible one, with anything else not just being foreign, but wrong. I guess by your standards, Japanese natives are "paranoiac pedants in weird sanctimonious mindsets". And Japanese think of you as arrogant, rude, and incapable of respecting other cultures. – forest Jun 17 '19 at 23:36
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    @КонстантинВан There are a few things you need to know about Japanese culture. The Japanese are very polite and forgiving... if you're a foreigner who isn't staying for very long and can be forgiven for not knowing their customs. As soon as you know the customs or begin to stay in the country longer than a tourist, their own high standards will apply equally to you as well. So it's not a big deal if you forget what you're supposed to do, but if you know what you are supposed to do and refuse, no matter how politely, you are, in that culture, being extremely disrespectful. – forest Jun 17 '19 at 23:41
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    @forest So you can be politely disrespectful in Japan. Ugh, alright, I see. “No matter how sincere it is, it doesn’t count, unless it follows the grand specific instructions.”⸻is what you’re telling me the Japanese society is, did I get it right? But, isn’t it kind of, heartless, I don’t know. Let me have some space to make sense of it myself. Just a while. Sorry, I’m a bit shocked. – Константин Ван Jun 18 '19 at 00:48
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    @КонстантинВан You can absolutely be politely disrespectful in Japan. Even calling someone with the "-sama" honorific, if done in a certain way, can be almost aggressively rude. So is it heartless? Maybe, depending on what your culture considers heartless. Welcome to cultural barriers. :P – forest Jun 18 '19 at 01:08
  • I'd like to thank everyone in this comment thread for the good laughs! – fkraiem Sep 05 '19 at 13:57
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Itadakimasu means, literally, "[I humbly] receive". Yes, the origins of the phrase may be about giving thanks to the gods, but at this point it's about as divorced from that as telling someone "bless you" when they sneeze is about warding off evil spirits.

In any case, a lot of Japanese people don't say it, and they certainly don't expect foreigners to even try. So the odds of you causing offence by not saying it are pretty much zero, and in fact I'd wager that going into some long explanation about why you're not saying it would probably cause more puzzlement and confusion.

lambshaanxy
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    Or goodbye which derives from "God be with you". – badjohn Jun 13 '19 at 10:48
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    @badjohn, right. A reference for this is in What is the origin of the word 'goodbye'?" – Ray Butterworth Jun 13 '19 at 13:14
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    @badjohn Playing devil's (oops, religious) advocate, there are plenty of alternatives to saying "goodbye" and the question could be interpreted as asking if there are any "see you later!"-style alternatives to "itadakimasu". – David Richerby Jun 13 '19 at 16:14
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    I'm not making any serious point here. I know some non-religious people who avoid saying "bless you" because it is so obviously religious but I don't know any who object to "goodbye". Its origins are pretty much forgotten. I am not an expert in Japanese culture but maybe "Itadakimasu" is as dissociated from its original meaning as "goodbye" and not considered religious at all. – badjohn Jun 13 '19 at 17:26
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    Even worse, someone convinced that they have to refuse others mildly religious customs could come across as fundamentalist and/or hostile towards the host culture and by extension the people practicing it. – rackandboneman Jun 14 '19 at 20:51
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    @DavidRicherby True, but if the question was asking about the alternatives to goodbye to avoid religious connotations, an acceptable answer would still be "Those connotations essentially no longer exist, you can just use it". – IronSean Jun 14 '19 at 21:17
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Other answers have pointed out that simply not saying it, as an obvious foreigner, will probably go unremarked, as they wouldn't necessarily expect you to have memorized all the customs. (Nor will most Japanese people say anything to your face even if they do find your behavior as a foreigner shocking.) But you specifically asked about refusing to say itadakimasu and saying it was for religious reasons, so let's get into a little more detail about that.

First, you should know that religion in Japan is complex and deeply ingrained, subsumed even, into the culture. There are a number of things average people on the street do without being able to cite any specific reason, especially not a reason we would consider "theological" or doctrinal. It's just... what you do at this place/under these circumstances. Also, there's a prevailing tendency towards syncretism (the idea that all religions are valid or have some truth) rather than the pluralism that's more common in, say, the US ("you do your thing, and I'll do mine.") Shinto coming-of-age ceremonies, Christian weddings, and Buddhist funerals for the same people are all common and not considered to conflict.1

Because of the syncretism, the indirect role of religion in most people's lives, and the general cultural emphasis on harmony and going along with things, it's very difficult to explain why you would refuse to do something for religious reasons. If you pray five times a day, read the Bible, etc., that can be explained by "oh this is how we do things in my religion" (which might be understood as "in my culture"), but the idea that there are specific doctrinal prohibitions against certain things that would be important enough to override the assumption that you'll follow local cultural standards is new to a lot of people.

For example, I did some sightseeing with a Japanese friend once, and we went to a temple in her neighborhood. Even though she knew full well that I was a Christian and in fact working full-time for a Christian organization in Japan, she was still caught off guard when I declined, as politely as I could, to bow, burn incense, or make offerings at the temple. She's Buddhist (a more specific religious identity than most people I talked to held or were able to articulate), but I think it's fair to say that if she went to a Catholic cathedral in Europe, she'd expect to perform whatever ceremonies were customary there, regardless of her personal beliefs.

[1] I knew a guy who was a "wedding priest" - he had no religious credentials and was in fact an atheist; his only job was to be a suitably foreign-looking white male, dress up, and officiate the Christian-style ceremony. And he said this was pretty much expected, actual Christian ministers being pretty thin on the ground, and not considered offensive by the locals even though he felt weird about it every so often.

P.S. My sense is that, since it mostly conveys gratitude to the people who made the food, saying itadakimasu shouldn't be a problem for any religion I'm aware of - but that's a question for one of the religion stacks. :)

SirTechSpec
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  • I should add that although those wedding ceremonies are clearly Christian in nature to a Westerner, Japanese generally consider it just "western" without religious connotations. Similarly, Japanese attitudes towards Buddhism and Shinto are most aptly characterized as "cultural", i.e. most people are cultural Buddhists and cultural Shintos, and due to the long history of syncretism no one thinks that there is a problem (except perhaps some far-right people). – xuq01 Jun 17 '19 at 04:23
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I'm trying to understand the context where you would ever have an opportunity to explain you weren't saying it for religious reasons. Do you really expect them to say "pardon, why did you not say grace with us?" ... and throw open the gauntlet to a religious discussion?

What worries me is that you'd expect or even hope for that.

Yes. They will react very negatively to that.

They would get it as not religious conviction at all, but rather as "I refuse to be humble"... since the statement is all about being humble.

Harper - Reinstate Monica
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    I'd guess the most natural way it would come up in conversation is someone trying to teach local customs. Most likely accompanied with a lesson in how to use chopsticks or something similar – Mars Jun 14 '19 at 02:05
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I had a Japanese exchange student stay with me last summer. We say grace at our dinner table where she joins us for the meal. At first she seemed uncomfortable with our prayer format, besides not knowing hardly any of the english words. Eventually she settled on saying "itadakimasu" at the end of our prayer as her own way of saying "amen". After she explained it, we were all satisfied with the intent, and happy to know that she was thankful for the food as well.

Thanks for asking this question. I know my answer is just what I experienced but good to know what others think about it.

quigath
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    Your answer shows that regardless of our own faith, we can be accommodating of others faith. I like it. +1. – Notts90 Jun 14 '19 at 08:03
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The literal translation is something along the lines of "I humbly partake", or "I humbly receive". I was a Christian missionary in Japan and always thought of it as a good way to express gratitude.

Sparsile
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Japanese are very tolerant in that respect and have low expectations to foreigners regarding their etiquette. Also they do not consider this phrase to be religious or anyhow important. At worst they would consider you a little weird.

Much more important that you get some other things on the table right like

  • respecting seniority when standing up and starting
  • using chop sticks according to the essential etiquette

...

Sascha
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As Peter said, nobody thinks of itadakimasu as having anything to do with religion.

To answer the original question, if explaining that you for religious reasons don't want to say itadakimasu, people would probably just get the impression that you are very serious about your religion, and they would probably worry if you need Halal or Kosher or similar special food.

But, since saying itakadimasu is a well established habit, when eating with foreigners (especially with ones who don't speak Japanese) they may say "Bon Appetit" instead (because of the habit of saying something, and being more considerate to foreigners). This often happens e.g. at business dinners with foreign visitors.

Tuomo
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  • Almost no one even knows what Kalal or Kosher food is. Unless you say you have an allergy, you're gonna have a pretty hard time explaining it. Many people just give up here :p – Mars Jun 16 '19 at 06:17